23. Beauty
Session 1
Spiritual Web Chat
Sat 12 Feb 2000
Ben< ALL: Tonight is the first session of a new seminar. The subject
is beauty. What is beauty? Where does it come from? What can be done with
it? Is there an underlying reason why some things are beautiful and some
are not? Is it all just cultural conditioning? Is there any such a thing
as a sense of beauty?
Ben< ALL: Yes, I know Socrates said beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
That's why I think it is an appropriate subject for a seminar on spirituality.
Ready? Let's go.
FreeLoveFloating< There is beauty in all. There are no limits to the
perception of it, except for the limits imposed by the self and/or cultural
upbringing. I shall interject here and there, and listen to the rest.
misstree< Ahhhh, beauty, a most interesting topic *vbs* and most suitable
for spiritual discussion. Beauty is a set of aesthetic parameters or conditions
deemed to be pleasing to the senses ... highly mutable and suggestive on
both cultural and personal levels.
Ben< QUESTION 1: Here comes a man wearing a red hat, red scarf, yellow
coat, blue epaulets, purple vest, green-and-red striped trousers, and grey
shoes. Is he beautiful? or what? YOUR TURN
greyman< He is quite colorful.
FreeLoveFloating< *laughing joyfully* He is magnificently BEAUTIFUL!
Specially when he holds his head high ... :O))
myalba< Zoot suit, eh? Well, subjectively, it is relative to the eyes
of the beholder; however, does it look good? does it make sense? back to
the eyes of the beholder! In it's own way, it is or may be beautiful.
Yopo< *LOL* Not my idea of beautiful, but he is certainly gonna be noticed.
FRAML< Beautiful? No. Gaudy, yes. At least his clothes. However, his
features have not been mentioned. And also there is the inner beauty of
a person, which one knows only from knowing them, and that is currently
out of your scope.
guitarist< Ben: What shades of these colors are you talking about? Is
there any subtlety to them? The grey shoes definitely have to go. *s* The
saturation level is really important here. Too much is garish; a moderate
amount probably would help these colors not clash too much together -- but
that would be really difficult, especially with the trousers. Probably would
have a very comical effect altogether.
misstree< He's certainly colorful, but I would need more information
to be able to decide whether I found him beautiful. Is there harmony in
the tones, how are the colors composed over his body, how do the colors
look on his body, how does his physicality contribute or detract from the
outfit?
FreeLoveFloating< He is one I may grab and begin dancing with on the
street, should his energies be inviting. Beauty is as Beauty does. :O))
Ben< I would say the man's clothing is colorful, garish, showy, funny-looking
-- but not beautiful.
misstree< Ben: That is of course your subjective opinion about his lack
of beauty *lol* though probably most in this room would agree since we probably
tend to base our opinions upon the same set of ideals of harmony and grace
that compose beauty. *vbs*
FreeLoveFloating< *sigh* I am afraid I am out of my league here. :O((
Ben< FreeLoveFloating: Nah, not out of your league. I'm posting these
questions with a playful intent. There are no wrong answers to these questions.
*S*
LEGS< Beauty to the eyes ... the colorful garb ... sounds like a uniform
... can be pleasing ... but beauty of spirit is something else. We have
lost a beautiful man from our world today ... Tom Landry died of complications
following surgery.
myalba< Objectively, he/it is beautiful (child of god) in whatever dress
code he chooses?
Sprinkles< I would say a real eye-catcher. Beautiful to the extent of
freedom of expression in one's taste in clothing. :)
myalba< In a line of a song: "Everything is beautiful in it's own
way."
Ben< QUESTION 2: There sits a bird with a red head, red neck, yellow
shoulders with a patch of blue on each shoulder, purple chest, green-and-red
striped body and tail, and grey feet. Is he beautiful? or what? YOUR TURN
misstree< Good second question. *lol* Which begs the question: do we
apply different standards in different contexts?
Yopo< I would probably think the bird beautiful. Most things of nature
are. Form and function are usually in harmony there.
misstree< Yopo: You hit upon a good point: our perceptions of beauty
are partly based upon harmony and balance. *s*
myalba< Yes, in my opinion, a most beautiful bird. Although the color
match or combinations may be out range of the norm, nevertheless, unique
and beautiful.
greyman< I never met a bird that I did not like, except for a buzzard
or two.
guitarist< Maybe it's my TERN. ;-) Are you describing some sort of parrot?
I would probably find it beautiful, because the colors would be blended
in better than those of the man in the suit.
FRAML< Since we know that animals are always correct, it is beautiful.
*G* However, the shading and blending of feathers is gentler than the sharp
color lines I imagined on the man's clothes. However, he sounds like a buzzard,
and they are not beautiful.
Sprinkles< Bird is a real eye catcher, beautiful in the freedom of nature's
given colors. (Reason possibly for protection)
greyman< Ahhh, the concept: Beauty can be interpreted as a "universal"
and the effect becoming some type of desire. To experience, possess, internalize.
misstree< greyman: Can you explain what you mean a bit more?
greyman< Sure, misstree. We all know the word beautiful. The universal
understanding is, that which is appealing. We desire that which is beautiful,
and are repelled by ugliness. Perspective helps us perceive our interpretation
of our reactions. We follow our desires and are repelled by our dislikes.
misstree< greyman: Thanks. *s*
tiggerlily< greyman: One of the best teachers I had in life is a woman
named Maggie who was disfigured in a fire. At first I was scared to look
at her. But she was the most positive person I ever met in my entire life.
She taught all around her something. She was so beautiful ... but that beauty
I felt in my heart, not in my eyes.
LEGS< I nearly walked right up to a robin today ... and though he was
much less colorful, he was beautiful. Birds are the showiest of God's creatures,
are they not?
Ben< I would say the bird is beautiful. Colorful, garish, showy -- and
beautiful.
selki< Beauty is that which is pleasurable to any individual, whether
is it visual, auditory as in harmonious sounds, perhaps music, inner beauty
of a person's character, or an experience that would create everlasting
memories of happiness.
misstree< selki: Excellent description. *s*
guitarist< misstree: I think, as you do, that we apply different standards
to different contexts. Consider the color chartreuse: bad on a rug, but
good on a flower?
misstree< guitarist: Indeed, we do apply different standards in different
contexts, and many of those standards are culturally defined, though we
do tend to accumulate our own version of the ideal beauty which is built
upon our experiences. *s*
Yopo< guitarist: *G* Chartreuse was pretty questionable on my grandfather's
'52 Ford, by ANYBODY'S standard.
misstree< Yopo: Now that's really a question of taste, which is most
definitely culturally defined within even more rigid parameters than beauty.
*vbs*
tiggerlily< Beauty depends perhaps on perception. If I were blind, and
met the man in tacky clothes, but talked to him and had a conversation in
which he showed humility, compassion or grace, I might perceive him -- from
a soul level -- as beautiful ... a beautiful person ... meaning beauty as
what values you have not based on visual perception.
FRAML< tiggerlily: Yes, to say that "beauty is in the eye of the
beholder" is a statement showing one's prejudice for sightism and therefore
is to be avoided, so that the differently sighted folks aren't insulted.
*G*
tiggerlily< FRAML: I am fascinated by alternative ways of perception.
One thing about our cyberworld is that it is an alternative or experimental
way of perceiving one another. Here you do not have to have a face to be
beautiful. We speak with hearts ... and energy ... and perceive from that
place.
LEGS< For instance ... greyman is a name that does not sound very colorful,
and if you attach colorful as a prerequisite of beauty, then not beautiful
... Yet, I know greyman to be beautiful of spirit and grace.
greyman< LEGS: *vbs and blush*
FreeLoveFloating< Might I ask, when was the last time any of you saw
a man with a disfigured face, and it almost made you nauseous, yet you saw
the beauty there? You wanted to share in it, therefore spoke to him, bid
him a good day? Beauty is more than what you are all speaking of. True beauty,
you have yet to touch on. In Love ...
misstree< FreeLoveFloating: But the real challenge, my friend, is to
find the beauty in the disfigurement, not to overcome your aversion to the
disfigurement. All forms contain beauty if we have eyes to see it. *vbs*
guitarist< FreeLoveFloating: I think Ben will get to the spiritual part
... hopefully soon.
FreeLoveFloating< guitarist: It is NOT spiritual to see beauty in all.
It is in being aware. There is no separation between spiritual and physical.
If there is, then incorporation needs to be tended to. *S*
misstree< FreeLoveFloating: How do you know it's not spiritual to see
beauty in all?
FreeLoveFloating< misstree: What I meant in my post was that it does
not take spirituality to see beauty in all. People have a way of separating
spirituality from themselves. It is awareness that creates sight. I am having
a hard time getting my point across, because I do not intellectualize a
lot on what IS. I just flow with it, experience, and AM. I shall keep my
opinions to myself now. In Love ...
misstree< FreeLoveFloating: Thanks for clarifying yourself. *vbs*
guitarist< FreeLoveFloating: I was responding to your statement that
we weren't considering inner beauty, only outer. I think that we will, yet.
FreeLoveFloating< guitarist: Why separate them? It is one and the same.
(Okay, now I will keep my opinions to myself.) *sneaks back into the shadows
to listen*
swami< Depends on whether you are looking for physical beauty, or a beauty
within, or whether your belief is that God is All, in which case there is
nothing that is not beautiful.
ewfsrb< I have and I do see beauty in even those who don't know it exists
in themselves. I have just uncovered my own beauty. I picked up a guitar,
and the vibrations bring my heart to places it's never seen before. Does
anyone here play any sort of music?
guitarist: ewfsrb: I play the guitar.
ewfsrb< guitarist: Do you find that when you pick your guitar up and
play it outside the earth's soul feels your beauty and responds to your
touch?
misstree< ewfsrb: You touch upon an interesting point. Beauty (visual
and sonic especially) is often about harmony, so part of our choice of what
is beautiful will be based on if that particular note or color resonates
with us vibrationally.
ewfsrb< I love that you said that, misstree. The beauty in this world
is harmony, and life is a constant flow of it.
misstree< ewfsrb: The kicker is, though, that there can be beauty in
dissonance too. *lol* And to answer your question, love and joy make me
feel beautiful (though a good haircut can help, too. *lol*)
ewfsrb< What does dissonance mean?
Yopo< Dissonance is a lack of harmony. Parts of a thing that are at odds
with each other. It produces a sense of tension ...
misstree< ewfsrb: Dissonance is when a note or color is out of harmony
or is discordant (can mean a lack of agreement). So think about that in
terms of music or color, something that clashes, sometimes subtly and sometimes
spectacularly.
Ben< QUESTION 3: If your answer to Question 1 wasn't the same as your
answer to Question 2, why were your two answers different? YOUR TURN
guitarist< Good Question 3! I think Yopo, FRAML, Sprinkles and Legs,
at least, touched on the reason I found the bird beautiful, but the man
less than beautiful in appearance ... nature. G-d's creation. "The
lily is clothed with more beauty than the robes of King Solomon ... "
or so I remember it.
Sprinkles< The man's clothing was of his choice; the bird's nature's.
The man can choose; the bird not. Therefore, his taste in attire was questioned,
not the man himself. The bird was given his colors by nature's choice.
Jello< Although, of course, colors tend to evolve through birdie choice
(or evolved choice ... a lot like generally hardwired human preferences.)
myalba< "In the eyes (or lack thereof) of the beholder" must
take on a broader meaning, and the god presence makes beauty relative to
the eyes of the beholder, from his vantage point, subjectively objective!
tiggerlily< Depending on this man ... on his intent and energy ... his
choice of clothing might strike me as creative and bold. I might think that
choice is a beautiful choice, depending on if it is authentic to him.
guitarist< tiggerlily: A clown cheering up children in a hospital might
be a good context for beauty for the man. Am I on the right track?
tiggerlily< guitarist: Sure ... or maybe he's a black blues musician
and just in his element and ready for a gospel number. He might be more
accurately joyful than beautiful, but to me joy is beautiful. I see what
you mean ... physical beauty is just one feather on the bird of beauty.
LEGS< tiggerlily: I agree, it is not the eyes that perceive the lasting
beauty of someone, but the heart or spirit ... or perhaps the spirit led
heart?
greyman< tiggerlily: Yes, and I am not worthy to be Steven Hawking's
graduate student.
tiggerlily< greyman: *S* Well, he's certainly not physically beautiful
... but he did marry his nurse. Kinda romantic, don't you think? I would
not make it as his grad student either. I'd have to go back and take high
school math. I still have nightmares about not "getting" it in
Algebra II and having no one to explain things to me.
greyman< tiggerlily: Mathematics is on my top ten for beauty.
misstree< greyman: hehe, you might be closer to a particular truth than
you know. Many cultures have had mathematical equations for beauty. *vbs*
Yopo< Hmm ... I dislike affectation. The man is dressed as if he is the
military dictator of Lunatovia. The bird is just being what it truly is
...
misstree< Yopo: But what if this man's clothes truly expressed his soul
... no affectation? You do not judge the bird by his feathers, but you judge
the man by his? *s*
Yopo< misstree: Good point. Maybe he IS the dictator of Lunatovia. *S*
And there IS something to be said for deliberately defying expectation.
selki< misstree: Beauty to me isn't just visual. There are other stimulants
that create an individual's impression of what they feel beauty is. The
spectrum of beauty is so broad, we can never assign only one constant. The
most "beautiful beauty" to me is knowing the inner beauty of someone.
misstree< selki: Quite agreed. *s* I've personally found that once you
'see' (in the non-optical sense) someone's inner beauty, you also see it
externally. Have people not had the experience of falling in love with someone
that on first glance you found rather plain but upon getting to know them,
they became ravishing beauties? *lol*
tiggerlily< Synch on falling in love, misstree.
Emerge< Beauty (to me) is grayed beauty is bright beauty is what you
see when you look without a blinded eyesight. Love to all. And, if you are
blinded, eyesight. Then that's for you to see, no judging here. Beauty is
where ever you choose to see. Once I was on my way home from a visit to
Nevada. I didn't see the beauty of the desert until on the bus. I had problems
there that I had to conquer not by turning away but by facing them without
fear but great wonder.
myalba< What one sees with third eye is beauty? Would not yes be the
conclusion!?
swami< To see beauty in All things is to see as God sees -- to realize
your own Divinity -- to see beyond the outer trappings into the beauty and
perfection of creation -- to see the perfection we All are -- that is what
is beautiful IMO.
myalba< Conclusion? "Everything is beautiful in it's own way"?
ewfsrb< I would like help. I find it hard to let myself be who I am,
and the beauty in everyone and myself gets tucked away. I wonder, what makes
all of you feel beautiful? Let me know if this is against the guidelines,
please, to ask a question. I am not familiar yet with this setup.
Ben< ewfsrb: Hello! Welcome. Please ask that question again, right after
the hour of (semi) guided discussion.
ewfsrb< I will do so. Thank you, Ben.
Ben< I said the man was funny-looking but the bird was beautiful. Apparently,
I think those colors are appropriate for a certain species of parrot but
not for a man.
Ben< COMMENT: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder -- but you could dissect
all the eyes you wanted to and never find it that way. Beauty is deeper
than that in me. This is why I was showing how I use questions about beauty
as a tool for introspection. I use them to look into my own mind and heart,
to see what are my semi-conscious and subconscious concepts of beauty. And
that type of tool was the point of these three questions.
Emerge< Hmm ... Interesting tool to see. Tool in emotions and in perceiving
beauty. You are all wonderful and beautiful just the way you are. Love to
you. Thank you for listening.
Sprinkles< Ben: I agree. My experience of having encountered others I
feel I have done a lot of growing from the thoughts and views of others
in my life since childhood 'til now has made me see beyond the focus of
my eyes to the focus of the person, and being fascinated with each and every
individual.
LEGS< Actually, a certain 'comfortableness with self and one's own looks'
can be intriguing, if not beautiful, and so we might later describe that
person as beautiful ... when, if one dissected their features, they might
find one or more that would not qualify as beautiful.
Ben< QUESTION 4: Suppose you are watching TV and see a woman figure-skating.
Her every motion is absolutely perfect. Then you see her face -- and it
is NOT pretty. Ugly, even. No doubt about it. Now, how would you tell someone
what you saw on TV? How would you describe this figure-skater? Would you
say you saw a beautiful dancer? Or an ugly woman dancing beautifully? YOUR
TURN
Jello< Most people who have trained very hard and are inwardly disciplined
reflect that in their faces, at least "in my eyes". :) ... so
I'm sure a person doing stupendous figure-skating must have that "inner
beauty" (not the hot sauce) reflected in the face.
tiggerlily< I'd say I saw a beautiful performance, probably. Interesting
... I would not focus on "ugly" ... I might note it, but find
the truest beauty that I could describe. She might look beautiful to me
anyway. When you "fall in love" with something, it looks beautiful
to you regardless of visual stimuli sometimes.
ewfsrb< If the beauty inspired me, I would see her as a beautiful woman
that skated beautifully.
FRAML< Hmm ... ugly face? How's her body? Is it the person or the performance
one is focusing on? I've seen figure skaters who weren't "great lookers"
but their grace and poise on the ice was what I was focusing on. Just as
a "femme fatale" who can't stay on her feet would be a joke in
a figure skating demonstration.
greyman< The "animal" part of my being would be overridden
by a beautiful talent. I am glad that most figure skaters wear tights (covering
the many practice leg scars) *g*.
guitarist< I would say that I saw a beautiful dancer, particularly if
she were smiling or in some other way radiating the beauty from within.
myalba< Again same answer. If her form is beautiful, then it's all beautiful.
The beauty of her performance cannot be negated by her perceived facial
lack of beauty. imho, she is a beautiful dancer.
misstree< Curious as to why so many think the face is the focus of defining
beauty?
LEGS< The figure skater, like some ballerinas, might radiate beauty in
action, and yet be strikingly un-beautiful ... but memorable ... unforgettable
... intense. It is often striving to overcome one's personal looks that
leads to near perfection in the chosen activity.
Ben< Okay, good thoughtful answers to Question 4. As I said, there are
no wrong answers in my seminars, but I do want to stimulate your thinking,
and perhaps expand the envelope.
WhisperW< "Beauty before you" is a wish or a prayer that all
you behold reflect the beauty that is you.
Ben< I would say I saw a beautiful dancer, because I see a difference
between beauty of form and beauty of function. (I plan to do more with this
difference next week.)
FRAML< Ben: But we all wait for "the fat lady to sing" and
it is the beauty of her voice usually, not the size of her body, one is
focusing on. (Good Old Wagnerian operas.)
Sprinkles< I would say a beautiful dancer. Because that is what in fact
she performed to perfection. I don't think the features would be the reason
for watching the dance.
myalba< Case in point: while looking for a parking place in Balboa Beach,
I was following a beautifully built blond on a bicycle for a couple of blocks.
She was a perfect 10 from behind. When she turned around, I was shocked
at her seeming lack of beauty on her face. However, I treated her with the
same dignity and respect that I would give to a "10". We became
friends, and over the next 5 years I discovered she was truly a beautiful
person.
ewfsrb< Beautiful. Are we still in discussion or not?
tiggerlily< ewfsrb: What makes one feel beautiful? Good question. I am
going through a mid-life review. When I was younger, I was more biological
beautiful. I was wired, I guess, biologically to attract certain things.
I had no idea I was beautiful. I thought I was ugly. Now that I am not in
the biology race, I find myself bereft somewhat and confused, but somehow
I know it is my character that has to take the front seat as beautiful.
However, I also dislike feeling things like out of shape ... or unhealthy
... so it is a new commitment to self care that I am taking ... and in this,
perhaps a new health can help me feel "beautiful"... but not young
girl beautiful ... just taking care of myself as best I can.
Ben< ALL: The server is slower than I expected, so I'm running late.
I have one more question for tonight, and will go ahead and post it.
Ben< QUESTION 5: Suppose you're teaching a class of fifteen-year-olds.
The subject for today is art appreciation, so you talk about beauty. One
of the girls comes to you after class and asks, "Don't you think we're
the most beautiful now, that we'll ever be?" What do you say to her?
And why do you say it? YOUR TURN
ewfsrb< I would say I have thought that very same thing, but I came to
the conclusion that being alive makes me beautiful as it does all of us.
And I believe that we project the image of ourselves as we imagine ourselves
to be.
guitarist< Ben: You were an art teacher? My, but you do surprise. *g*
[Ben< guitarist: No, I wasn't an art teacher, as most people would think
of that role. This was a Sunday School class. The subject was art appreciation,
but I was teaching the art of appreciation. *smile*]
Jello< Ben: I think I know the story you're getting to, so no comment
other than "physical beauty is hardly everything."
tiggerlily< I would say there are different seasons of beautiful ...
and that you are now very beautiful, and it will change in many ways, but
you can always be beautiful.
myalba< If one removes desire and lust from the equation, then the sense
of purity that comes with being 15 could lead one to say that they are as
beautiful (in form) as they will ever be (generally speaking); however,
there are exceptions and pretty is as pretty does!
misstree< Hehe, I'd ask her if she'd slept through the whole class. *lol*
Jello< OK, I lied. I will comment. I remember seeing a magazine cover
of a man convicted of a crime ... and the impression I got was of darkness
and ugliness. Then I saw a picture of former President Carter on a different
cover, smiling ... it was a radiant cover.
LEGS< I would truthfully tell the young fifteen year old girl that beauty
develops daily ... and grows with one ... that the appropriate beauty for
her age is indeed well represented by her and her friends, but that their
mom's are quite beautiful as well ... and their grandmoms? Well, who can
hold less reverence for beauty because it is found in the aged?
ewfsrb< I am a 17 year old girl, and maybe this is the most beauty I
will ever see in myself, but many people have thought that I am not beautiful,
but when I see myself, I see a beautiful body.
tiggerlily< Why wouldn't you continue to be beautiful? Is aging unbeautiful?
Well, I think you'd just get better and better personally, ewfsrb.
greyman< Ben: *SMILE* Well, sir, sometimes it is OK just to say nuttin'.
FRAML< Ben: I'd avoid answering that, out of fear of getting hit with
a sexual harassment suit, or a statutory rape charge, if the girl decided
she didn't like my answer.
ewfsrb< FRAML: lol I have a feeling she wouldn't. Then what would you
say?
Jello< Wow, FRAML, do you think things are really that bad??
tiggerlily< FRAML: Oh, come on ... put on your wise and loving father
hat and answer the question.
FRAML< Jello & tiggerlily: Not that bad (I hope), but I don't know
what I would say. And I probably would avoid answering it, if I were in
the setting Ben gave. However, if it were someone I knew who was a family
friend, I'd probably say something along the lines of what LEGS posted.
LEGS< Dear FRAML, I hate it that people must guard their answers, even
those that might help someone, because of the rampant civil suits ... of
harassment.
Jello< When lawsuits threaten, try for Inspiration!
Yopo< I would tell her that her definition of beauty will deepen with
the passage of years, as will the lines in her face. I wouldn't expect her
to understand or believe that, though.
guitarist< I would say "It depends on what kind of beauty we're
talking about. Physically, you are probably at your most beautiful. But
you are not going to be fifteen forever. It would behoove you to look at
other kinds of beauty ... such as that of a lined face that has laughed
and loved much ... beauty of talent, such as the picture you drew today
... beauty of thought, word, deed. It is easier to find ugliness among people
than beauty, but we find what we look for." Why? Because simply answering
"Yes" will (1) confirm the cultural bias toward youth, and (2)
not last long for her. As she gets older, she will find herself uglier if
she can't see the beauty in what she and others are becoming. Americans
(I can't speak for others) tend to believe that maturity = ugliness. This
is self-destructive in the long run, if we have the luck, smarts and blessing
from G-d to live long enough to see it. (Sorry for the long post.)
Ben< guitarist: Excellent post. Thoroughly thought out and clearly stated.
Thank you.
Sprinkles< I would tell her that we are beautiful -- but, to learn to
see what others can and do see in their perception of beauty, can enhance
your own beauty to it's fullness. Knowing beautifulness in it's glory.
Ben< This scenario happened to me 33 years ago. I said to her "I
see many different kinds of beauty, and I think you girls will become more
and more beautiful as you grow older." She smiled sweetly and walked
away. I said that because I wanted to expand her concept of beauty and her
view of her future. I wonder what she thinks about this now that she is
48 years old.
tiggerlily< I love your answer, Ben!!!!!!
Yopo< Who would deny that Olympia Dukakis or Jessica Tandy were beautiful
as elderly women? Beauty shined in spite of the ravages of time.
tiggerlily< Yopo: How about Lena Horne ...
Yopo< tiggerlily: Indeed! And there is something sad about trying to
artificially maintain the appearance of youth as one ages, rather than enhancing
the beauty that comes with age. Somebody said something earlier about dissonance?
*S*
guitarist< Yopo: Olympia Dukakis, Jessica Tandy, and Lena Horne (and
I can name many others) are excellent examples of why age should not be
considered a negative.
Jello< (And my final point to the Carter anecdote is that spiritual beauty,
when etched into every line of a kindly face, is an amazing thing. And often
it takes age and experience to truly bring that out in a face.)
ewfsrb< Aging is what you make of it, just as youth can be. I guess I
am basically saying it is all in the person.
misstree< Thanks to all for sharing their eye on beauty ... must be off
for beauty sleep. *lol*
Jello< What's amazing is that certain types of beauty can be seen just
through text ... like in a chat. Like seeing so many comments that are supportive
of those who are experiencing difficulty.
Ben< /topic Discussion of beauty
Yopo< I am thinking of an elderly man who came into my office some months
back. Very old guy, who had dyed his hair raven black. *LOL* It gave the
appearance that this vigorous growth of jet-black hair was sucking the very
life out of the rest of him.
tiggerlily< Yopo: There is beauty in acceptance ...
Sprinkles< Yopo: What was your reaction, and did you say anything?
Yopo< Sprinkles: *S* I didn't say a word. I was too busy concentrating
on not staring and keeping a straight face.
Sprinkles< Yopo: That reminds me of a so-called comedy about the person
leaving the rest room with toilet tissue dragging behind them. Comical,
yes, but sad, too. I would more than likely laugh, but go to the tissue
and remove it. I would also have taken the man aside and, in a polite way,
conversed with him, saying what I am not sure -- I would have to be there.
If I was the one, I would appreciate some honesty on or in behalf of my
self. Not to say you should have, just mho. *S*
Yopo< It reminded me of a similar experience with my late uncle, Max.
He bought a cheap toupee, and wore it to a family dinner. Everyone was trying
to avoid looking at him. It looked like some sorta little animal perched
on top of his head.
LEGS< But Yopo, there are many great hair pieces today that can't be
detected, and men should care how they look, also. *s* Although I love a
nicely shaped bald head ... having been married to a bald man for a very
long time. *s*
Jello< LEGS: I'm more for hygiene than looks, though to an extent aesthetics
are nice. I like working at a place where the phrase "bad hair day"
will bring blank looks of, "What? Should I care about how my hair looks?"
:-)
droagonstone< I realize I have stopped by late in this discussion, and
only long enough to smoke a cigarette and see who is here. I would like
to say, beauty is so subjective. What one finds beautiful, another finds
horrid. True beauty is in the mind and heart. True beauty is the mountain
lion taking down the stag. True beauty is a waterfall. True beauty is the
maggot and the raven. All things in their way ...
Jello< I see a culture (American) that is sadly distracted by flash and
form, so much so that, upon seeing something with more substance, mistakes
the affinity for the flash and form.
FRAML< Jello: I agree with your comment on flash & form. It is one
of the things that we can work at avoiding in our own lives, though. But
teaching others how to do it -- Ah, there is the rub.
Jello< FRAML: Yes, indeed. But that's why the WWW is so wonderful (and
dangerous, too).
LadyV< Yopo: I give up! I can get into PM faster than the on-line chat.
I just opted to listen tonight.
Yopo< LadyV: *s* Same here. I've been bumped half-a-dozen times tonight.
Made it hard to concentrate on the discussion.
Ben< LadyV: Hello, friend. Sorry about the slow server. It bogged me
down, too, though not as much as it did you.
Jello< It'll be nice to see the whole thing on Ben's site (says the person
who arrived late).
LEGS< (((((((Ben )))))))) Thanx for another good class. Did you say 'difference'
is the subject? or that the subject will be handled with a difference next
seminar?
Ben< LEGS: I plan to do more with the difference between beauty of form
and beauty of function next time. With a twist. *S*
LEGS< Ben: *deliberately misunderstanding* Oh, I love the twist. It's
a fun dance. *g* Actually, that sounds quite interesting ... and I'm eager
to see your version of a twist with that subject. *s*
tiggerlily< I need to go, too. Thank you Ben ... this was a really very
timely topic for me!
Ben< tiggerlily: Thank you, friend. Glad it was a timely topic for you.
Good night.
FRAML< tiggerlily: Blessings to you & Remember to count them before
you sleep.
guitarist< Goodnight, all who are leaving. Blessings on all of you.
FRAML< I guess I'll call it a night as well and go get my "handsome"
sleep. (Only ladies have beauty sleep).
Jello< Oh, come on, FRAML, I think you and I both know a certain amazing
"guy" who is commonly described as "beautiful". :)
FRAML< Jello: ????????
guitarist< Jello: Who could that "amazing guy" be? *LOL*
Jello< I think guitarist is in on it! *LOL*
Ben< FRAML: You reminded me of a story. Years ago in SAC, my crew was
on alert. I went down the hall to the shower room wearing a towel and carrying
my soap and washcloth. As I passed one of the other rooms, a wise-guy yelled
"Hey! Ben! Where ya goin?" I said "Down the hall to get beautiful."
And he said "Take a lunch!"
FRAML< BEN: ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
guitarist< Ben: My husband would have done similarly in your situation.
*LOL*
LEGS< Ben: You got me grinning now. *s*
Sprinkles< Why is it that, if a lady's slip is showing, for instance,
or a man's fly is open, people will approach or point this matter out, discreetly
or otherwise. But they limit themselves where the sense of humor in regard
to another is kind of a refreshing moment to let linger as long as possible?
Jello< Sprinkles: Unfortunately I didn't quite understand the question
...
Sprinkles< Jello: Aaaah, forget it. *S*
Yopo< LEGS: *S* As one who has a personal interest in the subject of
hair-loss *ahem* I am decidedly opposed to the concept of toupees. I guess
I consider the preoccupation with the presence or absence of hair a result
of efforts to extract money from people by promoting and exploiting unnecessary
insecurities. I feel the same way about dangerous surgical procedures done
solely for cosmetic purposes -- breast implants, face lifts, liposuction,
etc, etc, etc. Even risky eye surgery done solely to dispense with glasses.
Totally nuts, in my opinion. As my hairline recedes, I will think of Yul
Brynner and Patrick Stewart, rather than The Hair Club for Men. *G*
Ben< Yopo: Well said. And that certainly is germane to the subject of
beauty. Obsession with some concepts of beauty can be used for what amounts
to extortion.
LEGS< Yopo: Sure glad you're not having any breast implants right away.
*G* Now ... me ... I am in awe of liposuction, but having read the follow-up
procedures. have decided that beauty for me is perhaps more of me than less.
*G*
FRAML< LEGS: I remember getting some tremendous lip o'suction once from
a gal.
guitarist< Yopo: I saw your picture last night on your site, and I totally
agree with you. But to have the Yul Brynner look, you'd probably have to
shave your head. What do you think of that? *g*
Yopo< guitarist: HA!
FRAML< Yopo: Yes, how much to pay for a toupee?
guitarist< FRAML: It must be well past my bedtime not to see your play
on to-pay and toupee.
FRAML< guitarist: Now you've gotten me on a pun-roll.
Jello< Mmmm ... pun-roll. Lightly toasted, with golden sesame seeds,
and some butter.
Yopo< FRAML: I am quite sure my Uncle Max must have paid about $19.95.
*LOL* (Someone apparently found a use for road-kill possum pelts. )
Jello< Yopo: Alas, we live in a society where cosmetic appearances can
lead to jobs lost or jobs gained ... though if it's a job lost, then perhaps
all the better that way (go to a better place where they care about the
inside more).
FRAML< Jello: But a good income if you develop and successfully market
a line of cosmetics. *G*
Jello< FRAML: Hmmm, I think I do see what you mean. :)
Yopo< Jello: Ah, is that ACTUALLY true, or are we only conditioned to
BELIEVE that it is?
Jello< Yopo: You mean jobs lost, etc? I did read about a study that showed
that tall men were more likely to be promoted or to be higher ranked or
some-such. Unless there's a genetic link between height and pure charisma
...
Yopo< Jello: Ah, I guess I remember reading about the "tall guy,
high stature" thing myself. And those expressions, like "people
look up to him". In Egyptian wall paintings, the Pharaoh is always
painted larger ... I suppose some cultural conditioning goes very deep.
FRAML< And don't forget those who "ride high in the saddle"
or "get on their high horse." *G*
Yopo< Jello: Maybe tall guys buy into the stature thing themselves, and
it increases their self-confidence.
Jello< Yopo: And I have heard anecdotes of people hired just for their
looks. We could enter the arena of racial issues, too ... or gender issues.
guitarist< Jello: I agree with you about the race and gender issues.
That's a whole 'nother seminar. *s*
Jello< Isn't it, though? :)
guitarist< Jello and Yopo: I saw a film in a communication research class
that dealt with the reaction people had toward people they perceived as
attractive, versus people who weren't so attractive in their eyes. Attractiveness
correlated strongly with perception of competence, being chosen, and higher
salary. One pair of women and one pair of men were used. The thing I found
nefarious about this experiment was that one person of each pair was groomed
meticulously to be the attractive one, and the other's bad features were
emphasized to make him/her look worse than they actually did. I wonder what
would have happened if they had reversed the roles -- had the previously
unattractive person become the attractive one, and vice versa.
Ben< guitarist: Another excellent point.
Jello< guitarist: Yes, also saw an article about how people tend to marry
within their approximate "attractiveness range." Scary, huh? But
I personally don't like people who are at the top of American society's
"attractive scale." They aren't that attractive to me at all!
Yopo< guitarist: I suppose maybe I just don't want to admit that we unconsciously
put so much emphasis on superficialities.
Jello< I know I have my own perception biases, but I'm going to keep
fighting them and learn how to REALLY see people. Not everyone's the same,
of course, but there are some criteria that work, and some that are just
broken stereotypes.
Yopo< Jello: *S* Much of my own opinions and perspectives were formed
during the anti-establishment 60's era. I am automatically suspicious of
well-groomed people in business suits. There IS an absurdity to what people
place emphasis on. I once had an older female co-worker tell me very seriously
that the first thing she looked at in judging a member of the opposite sex
was his shoes. If they weren't polished, she wrote him off. HA!
Jello< Yopo: Very scary indeed! And I tend to share your biases. That
said, I was going to comment that biological attractiveness sometimes seems
a tad off the mark to spiritual or mental or even sometimes physical (!)
attractiveness.
Yopo< Jello: Yeah, but I suppose that is to be expected. The business
of biological attraction is the production of healthy children, so the emphasis
on physical strength, agility, appearance of health, etc, is probably not
surprising.
guitarist< But, Yopo, it's different with men. Men's faces can be rugged,
baby-face, intelligent, and others I can't think of right now. All of these
point to different types of men. Women's faces are scrutinized more and
have more rigid requirements for beauty, I know not why.
Jello< Yopo: I meant facial attractiveness to a large extent, though
some of that is ascribed to facial symmetry (which is a good genetic survival
sign, apparently). So if anyone can prove that movie stars have better genes
for survival, well, that'll explain that! :)
guitarist< Jello: The most famous and idolized movie stars don't have
such a good survival rate. Did Marilyn Monroe, Jean Harlowe, and others
like them have children? If they did, then we'd know!
[Mutual farewells as everyone still in the chatroom signed off for the night.]
23. Beauty
Session 2
Sat 19 Feb 2000
Ben< ALL: In ancient Greece, beauty was one of the central problems of
philosophy: Why are some things beautiful and some not? More recently, emphasis
shifted to rules for creating or interpreting good paintings, sculptures,
poems, music, etc. Now aesthetics includes many aspects of art other than
beauty. But this seminar isn't modern aesthetics. I am exploring the older
questions. Ready? Let's go.
Ben< QUESTION 1: Suppose you have just returned from a month's vacation.
You find the electrical power failed while you were away. You open the door
of your well-stocked freezer. Everything in it is rotten. Is this a beautiful
smell? Do you speak from experience? YOUR TURN
guitarist< I have never been on a month's vacation. But, I can tell you
that a rotten food smell would catapult me right out the door! The only
useful thing I can think of for it, particularly the vegetables, would be
the compost pile.
twowinds< Interesting. For me, the "experience" of the un-beautiful
smell could be a program, but looked at another way, perhaps the rotting
smell is a reminder of my continuous recycling?
Sprinkles< No, it's not a beautiful smell. It is gross. I speak from
experience. I make sure now that if I have to leave for an extended time
I definitely will leave it free of food that will turn.
guitarist< The meat might as well be buried. I wouldn't know what else
to do with it. As for whether the smell is beautiful, in both cases (vegetation
and meat), I don't think so. I'm sure something (animal, plant, whatever)
probably thinks it is, though.
LEGS< Speaking from experience (but a friend's freezer) ... it is a dreadful
smell.
Ben< The smell of rotten stuff was no doubt more common in ancient Greece
than it is now. That's why I had to invoke the freezer and power failure.
daCrone< Unpleasant aroma ... I think: "Uh, oh ... post note not
to open freezer until plan to clean it is finalized."
twowinds< I think that we can find beauty in every thing, if we look
beyond the surface.
DestinyB< The only beauty I can see in that is the fact that you'd be
forced to clean out the freezer. Just one of those things. I have returned
from vacation to find my stained glass lamp's chain broken and a dent in
the oak table where it had fallen.
guitarist< DestinyB: I think you're right. Sometimes we need a kick in
the derriere to do something we have to do, but hate doing.
Lo< We've found a freezer that lost power while we were gone, and I can't
imagine connecting any concept of beauty with THAT! Lots of work to get
it all cleaned up enough to use again.
twowinds< Perhaps there is a lot of work to cleaning up our dead energy
as well? Could be a beautiful representation.
guitarist< After being catapulted out the door, I might find something
to cover/pinch my nose with, and go back in there to do the inevitable.
Ben< COMMENT: Some people say that everything is beautiful, but not everyone
agrees with that statement.
Ben< QUESTION 2: Two people are watching TV. One switches to a nature
program. Three lions are eating a zebra. One person says "That's beautiful"
and settles down to watch. The other says "No, it isn't!" and
jumps up and leaves the room. Which of these people represents what you
would do? And what do you think of the other person? YOUR TURN
Yopo< Uh, I don't think I would react like either. Wouldn't find it beautiful,
but wouldn't be horrified either. Each reaction seems to me like an opposite
extreme.
guitarist< Yopo: Horror might seem to you an extreme reaction, but I
associate the smell of rotten meat with death. Come to think of it, it *is*
a dead body, and now it's decomposing. FRAML might say that that's what
Beethoven is doing nowadays. *lol*
Ben< Yopo: Yes, I presented the extremes to provide contrast. Many people's
reactions are somewhere between those extremes.
LEGS< Ben: I would not like to see the devouring of the zebras, either
Emerge< Interesting.
daCrone< I would not think 'beautiful' so much as 'interesting' ... and
I would wonder about what the photographers were doing when they shot the
footage. I would not necessarily leave the room, unless I was really queasy,
but I might avert my eyes ... it depends.
Sprinkles< The beauty in the lions eating is that it is a natural thing
for the lion to do. Younger, not having an understanding of it, I would
definitely have gotten up and left. Having understanding now, it doesn't
have the same effect. I will sit but just divert my vision on the close-ups.
DestinyB< I'd leave the room. Though it's the natural order of things
for animals to kill and eat, participating in the food chain, I don't want
to watch. It would also be hard for me to kill animals, even in order to
eat for survival.
LEGS< I realize the dining of the lions is natural; it just wouldn't
appeal to me. At the least, I would look away.
Emerge< I understand we all have to eat. I think maybe also that it's
OK for the other person's reaction as well as mine. Animals are beautiful
as people. Just one opinion.
Sprinkles< Isn't it kinda weird that one may turn away from such a scene,
yet to look at a piece of raw steak is not the same? :)
Yopo< Sprinkles: *S* Most people think their steak originates in the
grocery store.
Sprinkles< lol @ Yopo
Ben< I don't like to watch animals eating animals, and I think those
who really do like to watch it are rather blood-thirsty. My wife immediately
leaves the room. I think she's sentimental and tender-hearted, and identifies
with the victim instead of the predator, and that's OK with me.
Lo< I would not agree that the scene is beautiful. Nature happens whether
or not it is beautiful. If the lions were on the verge of starving, I suppose
it would be satisfying that they had found something in their food chain
to relieve their hunger. However, I would feel sorry for the zebra. I think
both animals are beautiful in themselves, but not necessarily what they
do.
Emerge< I guess we as two-legged critters have to eat somewhere, in restaurants
or McDonalds. Some don't like slaughter of cows: eat chicken. Some don't
like chicken: eat vegies. To life. Love you all.
guitarist< I have seen nature shows where lions are eating zebras, and
have not left the room. However, I don't enjoy these scenes; I just consider
that sometimes you bite the bear, and sometimes the bear bites you. I usually
like it when the prey gets away.
Jello< Hmm, I dunno, I look at the "nuisance" Canada geese
and often remark they look tasty. To a predator, I imagine the scene must
look pretty mouth-watering. As a meat-eater, I must accept that I am also
responsible for the deaths of many critters.
Emerge< Without running the risk of offending any religious denomination,
sounding sacrilegious to them, I am thanking the animal that GAVE its life
to feed my face (at least to me, this is also in my vocabulary) and God
for providing the nourishment.
Jello< But if I had to kill an animal to eat it, I wouldn't, and I have
trouble pulling up carrots because I feel sorry for them, so I must be a
modern-era person to be so spoiled in terms of squeamishness in regards
to survival.
guitarist< Jello: I often wonder also whether many people would eat meat
if they had to kill it themselves. I probably wouldn't, either. But, as
Emerge does, I thank G-d for providing the nourishment. My father once told
me that kosher butchers are very gentle with the animals they slaughter
(it's nothing like the knock on the head they get elsewhere) and thank the
animal beforehand, as well as G-d.
Jello< This is interesting, because this topic came up earlier today.
Someone else said thanking the organism for its life is appropriate (which
I think it is), but I don't know if the organism willingly gave up its life
-- more like we took it.
Emerge< Nor do I feel that the animal would understand consciously, but
in the spirit, maybe. But I just kept the idea to myself. I respect the
opinion of verbal gratitude and non- verbal.
Awenydd< I would salute the lion for following his path, doing what he
knows to be his way. I would feel sorry for the zebra, but expect that the
zebra understood his place. If he could not avoid the feast, then he must
become the feast. It's sad, but it's life. I may or may not watch, depending
on what I was doing and what is important to my life.
Emerge< Awenydd: I like that ...
Lo< If people are raised in an environment where their food supply comes
from their own animals, raised and fattened for that purpose, eggs, garden
vegetables, etc., I suspect that it seems natural to them; however, when
it involves an animal that has become a pet, it's a different matter, even
if it is a matter of survival.
DestinyB< Perhaps squeamishness at seeing animal innards is a culturally
learned response to such a situation. I can't watch operations on the television,
either.
Ben< ALL: I think both people in this scenario illustrate the fact that
beauty comes from criteria (preferences) in the mind of each person, and
isn't a property of the object to which it refers. Therefore, although we
tend to think that concepts of beauty point to the objects they refer to,
they actually point to the person who holds them.
Yopo< Hmm ... But would that also be so if we weren't discussing examples
so prone to "push negative buttons" in some people? If we were
talking about a colorful sunrise, for example, or a sea shell, or a flower?
Jello< Subjectively, it seems that those who see beauty in peaceful and
conventionally beautiful things (as opposed to say, seeing beauty in crime)
would also be perceived to have a more beautiful spirit/outlook.
Ben< QUESTION 3: I think this is an easy question, easily answered. At
least, I hope so. Two old ladies are in a nursing home. Neither of them
is about to win a beauty contest, especially not in a bathing suit. One
looks out the window and says, "Oh! Come look! The trees are all covered
with ice, with sunlight shining through! It's so beautiful!" The other
old lady snorts "Nah! Been there. Done that. Seen it all" and
goes back to bed. What does this scenario say about beauty -- and ugliness?
YOUR TURN
Sprinkles< One perhaps has the need for more beauty sleep, the other
prefers to be awakened by the beauty. :)
Emerge< Brrr. Cold. But I think ice is like crystalline wonder. When
I went to Georgia once, the road was clear but everything else was covered
in ice. It was magnificent. Yes, been there, done that, too. Wonder in the
season.
LEGS< I admire people who can find beauty in whichever direction they
look. My mom is one of them. She can rhapsodize over sunlight on a daffodil
bloom.
guitarist< It says to me that the first lady still has vital life in
her, and therefore is as beautiful as the trees she is appreciating. The
second is probably ready for the grave, and her lack of caring makes her
ugly. I would rather be the friend of the first than the second.
Yopo< One old lady has lost her sense of wonder. Her world is a dimmer
place than that of the one who can still see with the eyes of a child.
daCrone< On the surface (because there may be reasons I don't know),
one is open to experience; the other is less participatory. One has a sense
of wonder; the other is more jaded. One looks out; the other does not feel
the need.
Awenydd< I would say the ugly one is the one who sees ugliness.
Emerge< I don't know, maybe the second has been raised on "I don't
care about the environment, just me" attitudes, and finding in her
golden years it's hard to change it. But I apologize now, for I have judged
her. Only to learn why, maybe.
Jello< Emerge: I think it is one thing to observe, another to judge.
If one can't observe things like others' attitudes, then it is harder to
help someone in need.
Emerge< Jello: So true! I apologized to a person that wasn't real --
but what if she had been? Would it be harsh of me to call her UGLY because
she finds no muse in the seasons? To me, no.
Ben< COMMENT: Some people say that true beauty is inner beauty, and not
outward appearance. Not everyone agrees with that, but it has considerable
merit in light of the statement "Beauty is in the eye (mind, heart)
of the beholder."
Lo< Perhaps the saying should be: "Beauty is in the eye (mind, heart)
of the beholder and the eye (mind and heart) of the beheld."
Emerge< What is ugliness but a hidden path of uncompassionate unbalanced
natures? They had lives. The light would be the beauty in seeing that both
ladies are beautiful just the way they are. THANK YOU for letting me sit
here tonight; it's been interesting. Thank you, BEN.
Ben< Emerge: You're welcome. *smile* I have one more question for tonight.
I'll post it shortly.
guitarist< Maybe I should say the ATTITUDES of each woman are beautiful
and ugly, respectively. But attitudes like these couldn't have developed
overnight. They say something essential about the person. Naturally, if
I found that one is much sicker than the other, or has suffered a blow that
she is dealing with, that might change *my* attitude.
LEGS< I know little old ladies who bloom with love and youth ... and
others whose mouths are so pursed from disapproving of others that they
are not pleasant to look at.
Yopo< Yes. That which is loved is most often beautiful. What is beautiful
is not always loved ...
DestinyB< One old lady may have lost her ability to see the beauty in
everyday things. The other can still find the magic in living in the moment.
Lo< The one lady's cynicism suggests that she is in serious trouble in
her inner attitudes. I feel sorry for her. I tend to find such scenes refreshing
and always different somehow in some interesting way. I tend to disagree
with guitarist a bit, in that the second lady is really NOT ready to die
yet, but in even greater trouble if she passes on with such ugly attitudes.
Guitarist is right on the importance of CARING though. Caring is the essence
of what makes spiritual people so special.
guitarist< Lo: I can understand why you don't think the second lady is
ready to die yet. I took the question as representing consistent attitudes
on the part of both women; if this is a correct representation, then I think
a person who is consistently negative -- especially an old one -- will feel
its effects more strongly.
Lo< guitarist: Yes, I feel very sorry for the lady with the negative
responses and enlivened by the other lady's joy.
Ben< QUESTION 4: Shortly before I left Vietnam, a group of the Vietnamese
people I worked with gave me a farewell present. It was an ornamental Chinese
table-lamp, like a pagoda, painted in very bright colors, with red tassels
hanging down from each of its many turned-up corners. As soon as I saw it,
I knew my wife wouldn't have it in the house, and it would wind up in our
garage or basement. What do you think I should have done in that situation?
And why? YOUR TURN
daCrone< You accept the lamp in accordance with the spirit in which it
was offered.
Emerge< Sounds like a pretty lamp. I think if it were my husband, I would
ask if he wanted it in the house, if it meant that much. But if it was too
harsh a reminder, I would respect his wishes. War time isn't easy on anyone.
Yopo< Thank them profusely for their kindness, say truthfully that it
is an object like no other, and that your wife will most certainly insist
that it be kept in a special place in your home. *G*
twowinds< That was a great one, Yopo.
DestinyB< Ditto what Yopo said!
Jello< I guess it depends on what you want and how much say you think
you can get in the interior state of the house?
daCrone< Why be kind about the lamp? It was offered in caring spirit
... you should not slap the givers in the face with the tassels ~ it would
show you to be unworthy of the gift.
apples< Hmmm ... I would put the lamp in my workshop in the garage if
I had one.
guitarist< Ben: I could be wrong, but I don't think you could have refused
the gift without insulting these people. But you might have accepted the
gift, and then bring it back home and give it to someone who would appreciate
it and put it in its rightful place.
LEGS< Oh, Ben, there is no way you could have turned it down ... it was
given in appreciation and meant to be a pleasing gift for you as well as
useful ... but what you do with it later is your own business.
BLUEKNIGHT< And never insult the givers. What you do with it afterward
is your choice.
Sprinkles< I have had an experience like that with my hubby. I too have
had things that didn't appeal to the visual sense of my husband. We have
learned to accept that our tastes are different at times, and we came to
where we both have a "your collection, my collection" room. When
room was not available, the item was stored until a decision or room was
available. Mind you, there is a lot of collection going on here. (giggle)
Jello< Oh, whoops, the question is about what to do at the time when
the lamp is offered ...
Ben< Jello: I didn't confine my question to what I should do at the time
the lamp was offered.
Jello< Oh, OK. I sort of assumed you were the type who would accept it
... have too little data about your wife's views on house interiors.
donoma< Ben: Accept the gift graciously and thankfully. You don't need
to use every gift, but certainly it would be in bad taste to turn it down.
Ben< ALL: Last time I said I would revisit the difference between beauty
of form and beauty of function -- with a twist. Here is an example of how
I think about such things. I offer it for your consideration. (continued)
Ben< ALL: When those Vietnamese people gave me the lamp, I remembered
that red tassels symbolize blessings raining down from heaven. So I realized
the intended function of that lamp was not only to light a room but also
to convey a blessing. I mentioned that thought as I accepted it. They were
very pleased. On the other hand, I knew my wife would think the lamp was
gaudy, and I thought it was too nice a gift to wind up in our garage or
basement, so I gave it to the old Vietnamese woman who cleaned our barracks.
She was thrilled to tears. I thought to myself "The form is gaudy to
Western eyes, but the function is beautiful to anyone who understands and
appreciates the symbology" -- and went home feeling I had lived my
respect for the individuals and cultures and their various concepts of beauty.
Ben< /topic Discussion of Beauty
daCrone< Perfect, Ben. *S*
Jello< I think that might be considered insulting to some givers, but
if you think it was appropriate (and you have all the data), and it seems
to have had a wonderful outcome, then great!
DestinyB< I like what guitarist said about finding the lamp a good home
later with someone who would appreciate it. I used to be an antiques dealer
and there are all kinds of tastes out there in this world. A friend once
sold a hideous lamp made of fish scales. The funny part is that it sold
in a matter of days of it's arrival in the shop. Everyone is so different!
apples< Perfect solution, Ben.
Jello< I know one person who gets a bit miffed if something given is
then given away soon thereafter ... really depends on the person.
guitarist< Jello: I'm sure Ben was discreet about giving it to the old
woman. At least he should have been! *s*
Ben< Jello: The Vietnamese people who gave me the lamp would understand
what I did and why. They knew about giving a gift that can be given again.
Jello< Ben: Then perfect!
guitarist< Ben: I posted that about discretion before I saw that you
had already taken their feelings into account ... and that they understood
giving it to someone else again.
Emerge< Ben: Bet you made that Vietnamese woman's day. Love radiated
when you said that.
Sprinkles< Ben: That was a great way to handle the situation of the lamp.
The senses play a big part in beauty. Be it taste or smell, in sight or
hidden, the feelings of stimulation of object or person all participate
and can alter all of the perception of beauty in different ways to each
individual.
Lo< Ben: Your response to the Vietnamese people was indeed beautiful
-- BOTH times.
Awenydd< I have faced a similar experience. I bought a hand-woven prayer
rug from some Kurdish refugees when I was in a operation supporting them.
I found it to be very beautiful and special to me because of my memories
and the fact that it is hand-woven and special to the people who made it.
My wife doesn't think as highly of it, and it has resided in our garage
all this time ... mainly because I am spineless and never conveyed how I
felt about it. I realize we do many things to get along with our spouses
and avoid conflicts. To me, the rug represents hard work, faith, and love.
To her it is just another tacky souvenir. To the people I bought it from
it represented their faith and probably a few meals. I suppose if they were
willing to sell it to a westerner, they knew it couldn't possibly be appreciated
for what it was, but if they could at least get some satisfaction out of
it and please another (myself), they felt it had served its purpose ...
which I feel it has ... for I have not forgotten them.
LEGS< Ah, Awenydd, telling your story helps those of us in the room share
the beauty of the feelings conveyed by the facts behind the rug which made
it meaningful to you.
Jello< Awenydd: You remind me of something I just read recently: when
reminded of someone by something, pray for them ... so I bet you've been
in some way praying for them whenever you remember the rug. Which is great,
and one of the best reasons for keeping a material thing. (IMHO)
LEGS< For further discussion: How many of you have been in the presence
of someone who made you feel beautiful ... and the glow lasts even when
you just recall it years later?
Jello< LEGS: What kind of beauty? :) How does one make another feel beautiful?
(I have some ideas, just wanted to expand the discussion.)
LEGS< I have read in some inspirational material that the habit of thinking
in a certain manner will attract the things upon which you dwell to you
... like the idea that fearing something brings that which you fear to you
... so one would be wise to think on lovely and productive things, rather
than the reverse if one is going to draw such to them.
Jello< LEGS: As long as one doesn't thus come to the conclusion that
those suffering misfortune thereby deserve it ... yes.
Sprinkles< LEGS: With the meaning, "What you put out comes back.
What goes around comes around." (agree) *S*
Jello< LEGS: Sorry for that last rather abrupt post; I was speaking from
personal experience from having almost been led down that path. I do believe
that what we "saturate our minds with" will affect what we do
and say, and thus what we create and attract around us.
LEGS< Yes, Jello, that was the way I understood it as well.
Tracey< Beauty is the expression of loving others more than yourself.
It shines from within you when it is true. The beauty of loving makes everyone
feel beautiful. Gifts of the heart and soul are the most precious gifts
of all. *S*
apples< Tracey: When something comes from the heart and soul and is sincere
it often feels pretty beautiful. Music can be like that, even though you
can't "see" it.
Tracey< apples: *VBS* Yes ... music makes my soul smile many times when
my heart thinks it can't. *S*
apples< Tracey: If music can touch us in such incredibly beautiful places
... and it is basically non-visual, then it really is a statement about
depth and sensitivity. I think that depth and sensitivity of feeling enhance
beauty.
Sprinkles< apples: Because it comes from the heart and soul, doesn't
necessarily mean it is beautiful. For example, an enraged person being very
sincere in the expression of his or her heart doesn't come out beautiful
(IMHO).
apples< Sprinkles: I know what you mean.
Jello< Sprinkles: Hmm, a person expressing sincere beliefs just comes
across better to me, rather than someone hiding sincere beliefs behind a
mask. The latter just comes across badly.
Yopo< Ben: Your comment about beauty-in-the-beholder's-eye reminds me
of something similar that came up many sessions ago; about absolute measures
of good/evil, as I recall. *S* I am still a proponent of the existence of
absolutes, on some level. Some sort of idealist mind-set or something. Plato
or Aristotle (can't remember which) sorta appealed to me, with the idea
of a realm of idealized forms that underlie our less-than-ideal reality.
Ben< Yopo: Concepts of beauty are idealized forms, or functions, or symbols,
etc. That's a lot of what the ancient Greeks were discussing and debating.
Yopo< Ben: Yes, I understand beauty in that way. *S* Similar to Ahab's
thought about the white whale. It is not the form, but the thing behind
the form ... Though it wasn't beauty that was on ol' Ahab's mind when he
said that.
Jello< Yopo: Oh, you might like C. S. Lewis' essay on Transposition ...
gotta check the title.
Yopo< Jello: I will maybe look that up. Have a few of C. S. Lewis' books
around, though I don't know if that's in any of 'em. (Also have "The
Chronicles of Narnia" sitting atop a 1930's radio at my bedside. *S*)
Jello< Yopo: Yes, it's "Transposition," and it's about how
something very high and beautiful must by necessity lose some of its depth
when brought down to a "lower medium" (extract from a web page
I'm checking).
LEGS< Ben: Do appreciate you and your classes and examples for life ...
thanx again ... and what will be next week's subject?
Ben< LEGS: I might be able to present another session on beauty -- but
I'm not sure I need to. What do you think?
LEGS< I don't know, Ben. What are the effects of feeling beautiful? What
can you do to make your acquaintances experience such beauty? How can thinking
beautiful thoughts change one's general outlook?
Jello< Hmm, maybe a little more expansion on beauty of form vs. spiritual
beauty? I dunno. The way so many can create form-wise beautiful pictures
or text, yet the heart is rotten ... (been there, done that myself)
Ben< LEGS: Okay, I had several questions in the original set-up that
we haven't really addressed. One was "What can be done with beauty?"
apples< Ben ... wow ... I am not sure, but I am going to think about
that question. It is such a good question. I am a little sad because I am
not sure I have ever had my defenses down enough to feel that in front of
another person ... but it's never too late. I just love that question. Thinking
about it now. I think this has come more through friendship than anything
else.
Yopo< What can be done with beauty? Hmm ...
donoma< Ben: Enjoy it. *S*
DestinyB< Cherish whatever beauty you can find in your life.
Jello< I still have concerns about the issue of gauging spiritual beauty,
for the twisted mind will find horror to be beautiful. Then again, broken
minds are hard to reach.
Sprinkles< What can be done with beauty ... live it, love it, see it,
feel it, be in awe of it, despise it, loathe it, tear it apart, put it together,
charm it, scorn it, breathe it, etc. Are there limitations set on it ? Is
it endless ?
LEGS< What indeed? Were we to become promoters of beauty, would we seek
to run pageants such as the various "Miss" pageants? Or would
we begin with our own minds, and purge that which is unlovely and depressing
... filling our lives and minds with what evokes beauty to us, for as Lo
said, it is in the eye of the beholder. *s*
Yopo< LEGS: But there is a difference between attractiveness and beauty?
Seems to me there is.
LEGS< True, Yopo, it can be different ... and that is where discernment
comes into play again. Makes me think of the Broadway play about the exciting
gambling coming to town ... very attractive but destructive to their mode
of living.
guitarist< Yopo: I agree that there is a difference between attractiveness
and beauty. The fascination for the grotesque, for example, is a form of
attraction.
Jello< guitarist: Yeah, that's part of what I'm trying to think about.
What draws a mind to, say, a travesty that most others would find reprehensible?
Sprinkles< Jello: Of course the honesty of another's feelings can be
appreciated regardless of the beauty or ugliness. The beauty can be in the
honesty and yet the ugliness can be portrayed. imho :)
Jello< Sprinkles: Yep! Beauty and ugliness mixed together. Some day it'll
be nice to see beauty upon beauty without the ugliness.
Lo< There is something undefinable about real beauty that speaks deeply.
I am thinking of some of the Greek sculptures, architectural innovations,
etc., that I have been privileged to see with my own eyes. Perhaps there
is something of an artist buried deep within each of us. I found some of
the Roman "improvements" in style less than satisfying. For example,
there was a lot of sensitivity about how to depict that Greek bronze Charioteer
statue found at Delphi which showed his tenseness, pride, youth, etc.
Ben< ALL: The thought I had in mind when I listed the question "What
can be done with beauty?" was: Share the beauty you see. Offer it to
others. But do not try to impose it or insist that they see beauty as you
do.
Jello< Ben: I think that offering beauty as we see it, without forcing
it, is indeed an important thing. The Web again is a powerful medium in
this regard.
Yopo< Beauty might perhaps serve as a means to elevate and refine our
perceptions? To draw our attention to the existence of higher realms of
experience?
Jello< Yopo: Yeah, I think so ... if we can free ourselves from the trap
of just looking at physical beauty (a rut in which a lot of society seems
to be stuck). The question is how to help draw attention upward? I guess
it is to just provide the material, make sure it is worthy, and wait.
Ben< Yopo: Recalling (specific) beautiful memories is a way to elevate
one's spirit toward higher realms of existence.
DestinyB< People who have Near Death Experiences and visit "Heaven"
talk about the overwhelming beauty there.
guitarist< Yopo: I think it depends on what sort of beauty is spoken
of. To the mind and heart of the desirer, a false path can seem beautiful.
Yopo< guitarist: Hmm ... Beauty can be false? I'm not sure. Its meaning
might be misinterpreted, but does that make it false?
guitarist< Yopo: La femme fatale comes to mind. Also the man who thinks
he is G-d's gift to women. *lol*
Jello< Yopo: I think beauty is "false" if it is one form of
beauty (e.g., physical) used to mask an inner ugliness. Like how a swindler
will appear to be sweet on the outside. Words can be falsely beautiful as
well ... I'm sure many a charismatic speech or book has led people astray.
Yopo< We seem to confuse "beauty" with an "object of desire".
Beauty often resides in things we cannot hope to possess. Perhaps most often
it does. Seems to me it then serves to beckon us to a higher place, where
the experience of beauty can be found more often.
Jello< ... and odd how that it is always looking through the surface
beauty toward the spirit behind it that is what is important ... always
trying to look higher.
Yopo< Jello: Yes ...
guitarist< Yopo and Jello: The sweet voice of the swindler over the phone
trying to seem like a friend, but is trying to take away an old lady's life
savings is another example.
Jello< Yep. Wow, I think we're in violent agreement here. Any more thoughts
from others?
guitarist< Yopo: I suspect that most of us think we desire beauty. Therefore,
whatever we desire is beautiful.
Yopo< guitarist: Perhaps I misunderstand, or we're talking about different
ideas or something.
Jello< Yopo: Your comment about beckoning us to a higher place ... or
to create that around ourselves. As guitarist said, it is our desires that
drive that. May we desire that which is really good. :)
Yopo< I suppose we desire the EXPERIENCE of beauty, and mistakenly think
we can possess the experience by possessing whatever object has given rise
to it. Then we go after the object. Yes. That could and does get us into
trouble often ...
Ben< Yopo: We confuse beauty with an object of desire -- if we think
our concepts of beauty point to the object they refer to instead of pointing
to our own minds and hearts.
Yopo< Ben: *S*
Jello< It occurred to me that my last comment about agreement isn't quite
right. (I think this is another C. S. Lewis observation here.) It has been
pointed out that because we see different aspects of beauty and can see
it in our own unique way, we bring joy to others by offering a new way of
seeing beautiful things. So difference is good.
DestinyB< The creative spirit in each of us strives to create beauty
... perhaps the beauty is in the creation, perhaps it is in an effort to
make the world a better place.
Lo< DestinyB: I tend to agree that the creative spirit in each of us
strives to create beauty. I don't associate desire with the beauty of the
Greek bronze statue of a Charioteer who has obviously just won a race. I
sense his exhilaration, nervousness in front of an approving crowd, his
attempt to maintain his footing over bumpy terrain while controlling the
reins of his steed, etc. I sense an empathy and joy for him, but I don't
really recognize desire on my part. I know I would not like to have ridden
in that race! LOL!
guitarist< DestinyB: You have been so right (last couple of posts)!
Jello< Ah, now if we could all only agree on what "a better place"
is! *G*
DestinyB< Maybe surrounding ourselves with beauty is an effort to bring
about Heaven on Earth ... because we all remember our "Home".
Jello< Some do say that humanity's original spiritual occupation was
as a gardener ... any wonder that it apparently brings peace to many? :)
Ben< DestinyB: Yes. And even more-so, filling ourselves with beauty ...
Yopo< Ben: Uh, wait ... *LOL* I ALMOST had it, then it got away. Gonna
think about that for a minute ...
Ben< Yopo: For me, the main insight was (and is): beauty isn't out there;
it's in here.
Sprinkles< Hmmmm ... thinking ...
Yopo< Ben: Are you saying that the experience of beauty is an experience
of something that is actually WITHIN ourselves? That it is a moment when
something within us is revealed?
Ben< Yopo: Yes, that is what I'm saying.
Yopo< *S* Got bumped on the last post. Yes. That IS what you were saying.
*S*
Jello< Ben: Gotta admit that lost me a bit, unless the point comes back
to "beauty is in the eye (spirit, attitude) of the beholder" (and
that is what makes the beholder beautiful as well). I am of the opinion
that some things are absolutely beautiful, like, say, mathematics, but maybe
I'm off on a different tangent?
Ben< Jello: I merely apply the statement "Beauty is in the eye (heart,
mind, spirit) of the beholder" to myself when I am the beholder.
DestinyB< I agree, Ben ... the beauty is within.
Jello< In other words, the beauty seen takes up residence there, or that
one has a glimmer of internal beauty for having seen the beauty? (Is there
causality even involved here?)
Yopo< Uh, oh ... But there is a down-side to that observation, I fear.
It would seem to suggest that the opposite of beauty that we sometimes see,
is also within us?
Lo< Yopo: Could it be more appropriate to say that the APPRECIATION of
beauty is the something we experience that is actually WITHIN ourselves?
The object of beauty, itself, surely can exist outside ourselves, eh?
Jello< Yopo: But if one had rose-colored glasses and saw everything as
beautiful, then does it follow the person is beautiful? Or if one sees something
as not beautiful, then is the person therefore ugly, or is the ugliness
just taken up within? If one sees ugliness, will another see that person
as beautiful anyway? Wheee! I am confused at this point.
Yopo< Jello: Yeah. I'm not altogether sure I like where the corollary
seems to want to take me ...
guitarist< Jello: I am confused as well. What's the difference, people,
between the perception of beauty/ugliness that reflects our spirit and the
perception of good/evil which is necessary for our ultimate survival?
[Ben< guitarist: Some people think that beautiful=good and ugly=evil,
but for most people, beauty/ugliness and good/evil are two different sets
of mental categories. Thus, they can think something is beautiful and evil,
or ugly and good.]
guitarist< Ben: What happens if someone thinks that the smell of rotten
meat is beautiful?
Ben< guitarist: I guess a person who thinks the smell of rotten meat
is beautiful would hang around (haunt) slaughter-houses and such.
guitarist< Another question: what if someone confronts you (the 'you'
is in the general sense) with the assessment that you are not beautiful?
DestinyB< guitarist: Isn't that THEIR problem? They are choosing to make
a judgment and choosing to share it. That doesn't make it so!
Ben< guitarist: If someone tells me I'm not beautiful, I agree immediately,
with the silent thought: "That's his or her opinion. Is there any substance
behind it, or is it just a cheap shot?"
Ben< ALL: As a suggestion for discussion, you might want to think about
the two old ladies in a nursing home, and post whatever that scenario reminds
you of.
Jello< Ben: How about myself? Depending on my mood? Heh.
guitarist< Actually, having worked in nursing homes as a teenager, I
wondered then that any of them wanted to live under the conditions I saw
-- especially some of the staff. I didn't have the best experience there,
either.
Sprinkles< In regard to the two old ladies: first, they are old, which
means they have experience behind their age. Experience in life a little
longer than most and perhaps not enough. Who am I to say that the one (ugly)
has not experienced enough of the beauty or ugliness in the path of her
life? Perhaps in her mind she is fulfilled and longs to just rest in the
arms of her creator? The body might be exhausting to her, and her spirit
wishes to be free from it. The one who perceives in awe the beauty of nature's
amazements, vitality, may yearn to hang around for the endless beauty and
delight in wishing to do so.
Ben< Sprinkles: Suppose the two old ladies die (leave their physical
bodies) and take their attitudes with them. Then what?
Sprinkles< I really couldn't say for sure what would become of their
attitudes. For I would hope that they both would become a teacher and student.
Perhaps these two opposites were joined together in their creator's reasoning
before their departing. Hmmm. I have to give it more thought, Ben.
DestinyB< Chances are good that the two elderly ladies won't be on the
same level of Heaven. The positive lady will be rejoicing in the wonderment
of the experience. The more negative lady might be thinking, "Maybe
now I can get some rest".
Ben< ALL: What happens to one of the two old ladies reminds me of something
I wrote long ago. It's called "Obituary for the Habitual Bitcher"
and it reads (like a New England tombstone) "Old John is gone. And
it's just as well. He never liked it here. Kain't see as how it matters
where. He ain't about to like it there."
DestinyB< Ben: That's funny! But there's some truth in it.
guitarist< Ben: Sounds like many people I work with. *LOL*
DestinyB< guitarist: Perhaps one's outlook on life makes it possible
or impossible to find the beauty in their surroundings.
[Ben< DestinyB: Yes. Well said. "The eye of the beholder" is
a metaphor for one's outlook, which is one's habitual way of looking at
things. The habitual bitcher has a negative outlook: he sees things in the
worst possible light (another metaphor).]
Yopo< I will keep that in mind the next time I'm tempted to complain
about something. Which, alas, probably won't be long. (*LOL* I suppose that
comment might ITSELF be taken as a complaint. Apparently keeping the rhyme
in mind didn't work.)
Jello< Ben: Hmmm, but I think some "places" are higher than
others, more beautiful on an absolute scale. I know people who are miserable
in some workplaces who blossom in others, who had to leave the previous
workplace for their own good. Sometimes it takes beauty to awaken beauty?
Oh, yes, that's the phrase ... sometimes it takes beauty to awaken beauty
... love to awaken love. I think that's the utilitarian thought that is
most useful to me right now.
Sprinkles< I don't know, but to address something as beautiful or ugly
in terms of attitudes is just putting labels on something or someone. But
the contents don't always contain the so-called beauty or ugly, unless it
is experienced by oneself. (imho) I don't care too much for labeling, especially
of people. The only one who wears my shoes is me. I have to take the responsibility
of the path I journey.
Jello< Sprinkles: Sounds like good advice to not label people, though
I do think that to objectively gauge someone else's attitudes can help others
see where they can best help that person (if that is called for).
Ben< Jello: Those who think everything is beautiful, and those who think
nothing is beautiful, have no discernment.
pansera< And where would duality fit in? Where would projection fall
'in-two'?
Jello< Ben: Unfortunately (?) I think I got a little lost in tonight's
session on beauty's internal/external aspects. I do agree with the discernment.
Rose-colored glasses reduce one's ability to perceive and help, as do light-shading
glasses.
pansera< What is objectivity? Is that a dead man's aspiration?
walk_in< Beauty is as we define it. Old sayings again ring true: beauty
is in the eye of the beholder.
pansera< True.
pansera< Masks are everywhere. People hide all the time. Does that take
away from their internal truth?
Yopo< pansera: Hmm ... It might, to the extent that we wear masks even
when we look into a mirror. *S*
pansera< Agreed.
Sprinkles< Yopo: I think there is good and bad in all things, be it human,
animal vegetable, mineral. How these are used is the responsibility of the
user. Yes, there are as many masks as there are roles that each play in
life.
Yopo< Sprinkles: I have been turning over the old idea of "specific
evil" lately. It goes that each thing existing has its specific evil
-- that being whatever tends to destroy that thing. It is a strange system.
Evil becomes relative to the thing. Water would be evil to iron, causing
rust, but good to a seed, causing growth.
Jello< Yopo: Though iron (the atom) is not destroyed ... it is the chemical
form's enemy, you mean? And in humans, our own selfishness is our specific
evil?
Yopo< Jello: *LOL* The idea dates from a day before atomic theory. But
yes, I guess the basic assumption is that all things would prefer to continue,
or become more than they are. Evil is that which destroys, or stands in
the way of the thing's growth. Good preserves, or enhances growth. (This
may also be too simplistic in the final analysis. But it does seem to maybe
apply on a spiritual level, too. Leastwise as far as I've thought it out.)
pansera< Good ... not-good. Aligned with the spirit ... uncentered. Duality
has many faces, many of which we do not see.
Ben< pansera: Duality is a simplistic form of discernment that only has
two categories. Rather than jump from duality to either "all"
or "nothing", a more functional way of thinking is to add a middle
term: "good -- neutral -- bad" or "beautiful -- Okay -- ugly"
and then proceed to look at degrees of difference between the extreme cases.
pansera< Relativity ... and absolute.
Ben< pansera: Yes, relativity between absolutes (limiting cases).
pansera< Intention ... mindfulness. Responsibility ... ohhhh, let's not
go there.
Sprinkles< When seeds are planted, is it not revealed in the plant the
care it has received?
pansera< Beautiful, Sprinkles.
DestinyB< As in ... nothing is black or white, only shades of gray in
between?
Ben< DestinyB: No ... some things are black, and some things are white,
*and* there are a lot of shades of grey between those two extremes.
Yopo< DestinyB: I think Ben is proposing a simplified continuum. A graduated
grey-scale. Black and white are still at the extremes.
guitarist< DestinyB: As in ... there is black, white, and all shades
of grey. All possibilities exist.
pansera< Polarity ... the great hope of humanity. This has been my lesson.
Jello< I think our perception of white is apt to be flawed ... what looks
white is often still gray, but I still think there is an absolute white
somewhere. :)
pansera< What of karma and dharma?
Ben< pansera: Karma means deeds, and deeds have consequences. However,
desires have consequences even if (and perhaps especially if) they're not
acted upon. Dharma means work -- as in "work it out of your system."
pansera< Karma = working through our sins = Latin based word, missing
the mark. Dharma = stepping into our light, and shining = living in non-attachment.
DestinyB< A sin is a spiritual mistake.
pansera< Latin translation: sin = to have missed the mark (nothing less,
nothing more). Religious dogmas have made it into something else.
DestinyB< Hmmm ... I was just showing my 18 year old Ben's description
of the difference between Karma and Dharma ... since he'd asked about it
the other day. (I wasn't sure.)
Ben< DestinyB: Dharma literally means "law" as in "natural
law" or "cosmic law" but it is translated as "dutiful
adherence to law or custom" and in practice it means, as I said, "Working
your karma out of your system."
pansera< The translation was my own simplistic way of looking at it.
At least, that is how my inner child looks at it.
Ben< pansera: My first translation of Dharma was also a short-cut. *smile*
But I felt I needed to set it straight.
Jello< And of course, an item or action that is good in one situation
may be bad in another. But to try to live up to the best good is, I think,
still the best good. (Recursion, anyone?)
pansera< The highest good of all? -- god's will?
Jello< God's will would be what I believe is the highest good, though
figuring out when one is doing it or not is very hard sometimes. :)
pansera< What is your highest good, or what is the highest good?
Sprinkles< pansera: I don't know what the highest good is in terms of
being human. I know only to do and be the best of what my abilities allow
me to, and to look beyond self and apply myself in what my heart and soul
have the capabilities of providing for all that come into and touch my life.
pansera< Beautiful! It is in the constant connection with spirit ...
the higher self ... your higher self ... (personal belief = attachment)
that we (I) do G's will ...
guitarist< Jello and Sprinkles: If they can help, and if the person wants
to be helped.
Jello< guitarist: Yes, if called for only. I am thinking, for example,
of a psychologist who is trying to help a patient.
Sprinkles< Jello: Perhaps if it's required, or offered in a way to better
understand.
guitarist< Jello: I agree; at the time when we are doing the deed it
is hard to tell; but do you suppose that maybe the results of that deed
tell us something about whether we've done G-d's will in a given situation?
pansera< Well said.
walk_in< Yes, but some for whom by all accounts there was no care, dazzle
us.
pansera< It is in the intent with which the action is done. Evolution
then proceeds to take its natural rhythm.
Jello< guitarist: Yes, though sometimes you don't know the results for
a long time ... maybe not in this life ... makes it hard to get data.
guitarist< Jello: True; and sometimes we are tested to see whether we
will try to look back or not, our intent being a direct reward for ourselves.
I'm thinking of a question like: Is it better to give a homeless person
money or to buy them lunch? And does this gift reach out beyond that moment?
We cannot tell, but at the time it seems like the right thing to do.
Jello< guitarist: I once did that kind of thing and had no idea whether
it was good to have done it or not. It logically seemed right, but didn't
necessarily feel right. I don't know the fruits, and I'm guessing it varied
from recipient to recipient.
pansera< Humanity ... what a "" experience? What sensations,
what losses, what joys ... humanity ... oh, humanity.
guitarist< Jello: I have done likewise. *S*
pansera< Is it in the discomfort of the ego that we help another? Or
is it out of the purity of the soul? Where does the projection and owning
take place?
Jello< Well ... I try for connection with God rather than anything of
my own in particular, but I think the motivation to do God's will is the
important part.
guitarist< pansera: Perhaps we are made uncomfortable so that we will
reach out and help. *s*
Jello< guitarist: Good point. Discomfort within the soul is often a sign
that something is wrong, though of course sometimes we lie to ourselves
and don't notice discomfort until something wakes us up. :)
Jello< pansera: Maybe your question is another one that is best answered
by stepping away from duality. Perhaps it is a combination of ego pain and
purity, with different degrees in different people.
pansera< For me, at this point in my evolution, that statement resonates.
guitarist< pansera: I don't think we need to wait until we feel we are
pure in heart to help someone. (Although expecting to gain something from
it is definitely the wrong attitude.)
Jello< In fact, if we wait until we are perfect before we help, I think
we will never become perfect. :)
pansera< For it is only in pruning the tree that it shall bear fruit.
Jello< I wish my maple trees would stop bearing fruit! *G*
pansera< Be careful what you wish. What you seek ... seeks you!
Jello< Yet oddly enough, as much as we may attract what we desire, it
is by giving that we receive. So desiring to give is the way up and out?
(Wish I could follow my own thinking tonight.)
pansera< Who do you really help, then? Your own need to help yourself,
or truly another soul? If so ... if we live in a conscious universe ...
won't the other soul be able to manifest his own freedom? And if we aid
someone else out of our own discomfort, won't we be holding them back from
their process? So they may stumble upon enlightenment at their time ...
not ours.
Sprinkles< Pansera: I find no discomfort in the helping of another. The
discomfort would come when the person takes for granted the help I am giving
and wants me to live it for them. For instance, it would be of no good to
continue to carry someone who is not willing to apply themselves to taking
the responsibilities that life requires. I would be uncomfortable if the
person thought I would live their life for them. This is the discomfort.
I would not hesitate a moment to be of help, to get and do what is needed,
if the person is down and out or had some setback, but there are those who
take it for granted, and this is where my discomfort comes from -- doing
what I can and yet it has failed.
pansera< I know what that feels like (compassion).
Jello< Sprinkles: The other side is someone who does not want help ...
not always good to help when a natural growth is taking place ... though
since it's too easy to use that as an excuse to NOT help, I guess it's better
to err on the helpful side. :)
Sprinkles< Jello: I agree, I would offer my help, and if it were refused,
I would accept that as well, but I would also let it be known that is was
available if they were to change their mind.
Jello< Sprinkles: Sounds to me like a great approach! Be ready to help,
unless you get the command not to (which happens sometimes, right?)
guitarist< Jello: I like your continuum with ego pain at one end and
purity at the other. Of course, it is better to be pure at heart, but any
gift is better than none, for the one in need of it. It's the strings attached
to some gifts that makes me twist as though a knife were stuck in my gut.
Jello< guitarist: Sounds like you have had too many gifts with strings
attached? Like supposing Ben had received that lamp with the condition he
had to keep it and use it? Ouch.
DestinyB< LOL @ Jello!
guitarist< Jello: Might be. Have to think. Have seen strings attached.
Doesn't feel very good. Want to give gift back. Ouch.
Jello< guitarist: Attached strings usually have hooks attached to them.
They hurt.
guitarist< Jello: Yes, they do. Makes one feel untrusted. Like the gift
is not given freely.
Jello< Yes, I think so. I guess there are many things one can do, including
returning the gift, but blessing the item given and getting the strings
cut and the giver cared for would seem to be good things to do in general.
guitarist< How do you suggest getting the strings cut? I for one think
passing it on to someone else (not the same gift, but another) when you
are able is good.
Jello< Some can cut strings themselves (e.g., cut it with mind and spirit,
like with a mental blade). Divine blessing of the object would be very good,
and if you can get divine help to clean it up, and so on. I know people
who have moved into a spiritually dark physical space, and have brightened
and healed it by their presence, for example. Most of all, sending divine
blessings to the one who put in the lines and hooks in the first place.
God knows when to help and when to wait, and what to do! :)
pansera< Are you ready to cut the stings? What does that mean to you?
What does it really mean to YOU? What are the repercussions of that action?
What are the losses that are to come? What are the insights that are to
greet you in your dreams?
guitarist< pansera: I don't think we're talking about tearing a cocoon
open so that a butterfly, who must struggle out of it to be strong enough
to survive, can emerge. That kind of help, BTW, will kill the butterfly
before it even has the chance to live. A small gift at the right time can
work more than we will ever know. Who knows whether the time is right or
not? The right time is usually NOW.
Ben< pansera: I help if I can, because I choose to do so. It is an exercise
of my free will, and therefore doesn't need any other or underlying cause.
pansera< Interesting. And do we ask for guidance and assistance in our
times of need or is it imposed upon us? And if we do, is it our conscious
mind or the unconscious? Conditional? Unconditional?
[Ben< pansera: I ask for divine guidance and assistance, sometimes for
my own need, more often for someone else's need. I employ a set of inner
disciplines that involve both my conscious and subconscious mind. The guidance
and assistance I will accept is offered but not imposed, a manifestation
of unconditional good-will.]
DestinyB< No matter where we are in life, there is someone more advanced
than we are and someone less advanced. If we can give a helping hand to
another to point out the way, it lifts us up a little bit (enlightens and
inspires). Always a good thing! Hopefully someone will help us in our hour
of need, as well.
pansera< We are the children of the spirit. We are one ... and we are
alone. In being centered with our own knowing, we can give to ourselves
and others. It is knowing when to stay and when to go, for the highest good
of the soul. People give and take energy all the time. Why not be with conscious
people?
Sprinkles< pansera: Why not be conscious people? There is perhaps the
need for the unconscious people to have the conscious people around and
vice-versa. *S*
pansera< We attract what we emit. We attract who we are (belief). Individually
we isolate at a specific frequency. Anything lower or higher is basically
not where we are meant to be.
guitarist< Yes, pansera, and we are always to seek higher and higher
frequencies.
pansera< Must we? And if we must, the presence of spirit must eternally
be present joy, for without it, it soon may turn sour.
DestinyB< The idea of divine abundance is that you give to keep the flow
going. You have to, in order to make room for something to be given to you.
Not so sure I believe it really works that way ... maybe a little too "New
Age" for me.
Sprinkles< DestinyB: Oh, it does work, at least that is my experience
talking. For even the giver is worthy of receiving. And the bounty of giving
and receiving is plentiful for all to enjoy.
DestinyB< Does this have more to do with trust than giving?
pansera< guitarist: Are you familiar with holotropics? I would highly
recommend <www.holotropics.com> It has helped me tremendously.
guitarist< pansera: What is holotropics, briefly?
pansera< Breathwork ... through intensive breathing ... it induces higher
states of consciousness in which one can see the misinterpretation at the
root level. Check out the website.
Jello< Any time one goes to a different state of consciousness, it is
usually best (I've learned) if one orients one's spirit toward God first
-- i.e., caring for others and loving God. Otherwise it can turn into a
down trip!
guitarist< I'm getting fuzzy, folks. Thank you for the URL, pansera.
I will look at it when I am awake again. // Jello, thanks for all your help.
:)
Jello< I've heard that when we give freely, God is free to do the right
thing with the gift. :) (Just as, if we cling to something, we are to some
extent blocking God's help from reaching us and the person or thing we are
clinging to ... or at least, that's the gist of many stories I've heard
where people learned to give their troubles or even their loved ones to
God.)
DestinyB< My brother needed some $ and asked if I could loan him some.
I gave him the $ and told him it was a gift. (He's irresponsible, and it
made my life easier to "give" it to him.) After some time, to
my surprise, he gave me the same amount of money back!
Jello< DestinyB: Sounds like a good sign, at least to me!
DestinyB< If anyone here wants to hit me up for some $ ... I'm a little
short right now! LOL!
Jello< Heh! *G*
Sprinkles< LOL @ DestinyB. What does your height have to do with it?
LOL (Only kidding, couldn't help it.)
pansera< And what was your lesson, DestinyB?
DestinyB< pansera: Since I never expected him to return the $, I learned
that when I don't attach strings, it leaves the other person free to do
the right thing and gain self respect, too. I judged him as irresponsible,
when he doesn't have to behave that way. I just didn't want there to be
any hard feelings between us if he was unable to pay it back.
pansera< That is beautiful, DestinyB. You are all beautiful! Thank you
for your wise words. Hope we meet again. La vie continue. Bon nuit.
Sprinkles< DestinyB: You see, you didn't expect to have it come back
to you. But when it did, it was surprisingly delightful. If you did it with
the expectation that you would have to pound him for it, it wouldn't have
been as delightful receiving it. *S*
DestinyB< Sprinkles: That's very true.
guitarist< DestinyB: I have done that exact thing with my mother.
DestinyB< guitarist: You owe your Mom a whole lot more than $$$ ... after
all, she went through labor for you ... and all those smelly diapers! LOL!
guitarist< DestinyB: There's a lot more behind my statement than you
have any idea. But, because you don't know me, I'll leave it alone.
Jello< Oooh, diapers! LOL! Though technically, if we feel bound to repay
everything good, then aren't those also chains? We should be free to use
our free will, and hopefully free to move when and where we are directed.
Sprinkles< Jello: If the feeling is of having to, or bound to do something,
it is not freely done. That is the chain, my friend. So, to give back or
repay is also a sign of gratitude, but done with freedom.
Jello< Sprinkles: Yes, though I do believe sometimes a nagging feeling
to do something means one may want to choose to do it ... but it should
always be a choice, and not through coercion. :)
Jello< Good night, all! Thanks for the discussion tonight! :) DON'T dream
about smelly diapers! ("Don't think of elephants!")
DestinyB< Oh great ... now I'm going to dream about elephants wearing
smelly diapers! LOL! Until we meet again!
23. Beauty
Session 3
Sat 26 Feb 2000
Ben< ALL: This is our third session on the subject of beauty. Tonight,
I intend to focus the first three questions on experience rather than theory.
The fourth question will be a call for either experience or imagination.
Ready? Let's go.
Ben< QUESTION 1: When I lived in New Hampshire, I knew a family whose
old German grandmother came to live with them. They told everyone she was
crazy. Among her other odd habits, she often sat alone all day in a chair
on the beach, with blankets wrapped around her so she wouldn't freeze. When
I asked her why she did that, she said "Ach ... yah ... sometimes I
must go and vash my soul in the sound of the sea." What does this story
remind you of? YOUR TURN
daCrone< Sounds like what folks say about me ... so I kinda think that
her family may not have had a good understanding of her, or if they did,
they didn't want to share it with others.
FlamingEagle< I just see her as finding solace in nature, despite what
others thought of it.
guitarist< Very poetic. She doesn't sound crazy at all to me. Washing
one's soul in something beautiful (as the sea often is) -- is it possible
that she really wanted to swim, but the water was too cold?
Ben< guitarist: I don't think she wanted to swim. Way too cold for that.
It was the sound and the solitude she sought.
FRAML< It was her time for prayer and meditation. When she spiritually
cleansed herself. Too many of us don't seek that quiet time; in fact, we
may be afraid of doing so.
guitarist< FRAML, I was thinking the same thing, but gave it more physical
expression. *s*
LEGS< My tiny great grandmother loved to fish, but wouldn't eat a bite
of fish. The sport of outwitting the fish drew her mightily ... and kept
her young.
Sprinkles< It reminds me of a kind of Spiritual cleansing. The ocean
with the flow of life, and the salt which it contains, brings to mind the
salt of the earth and the breath of fresh air coming over the waters. All
life-giving, and the blankets to hold and warm the spirit. Aaah, perhaps
she is of the zodiac sign of the crab, and just felt at home. *G*
Ben< Sprinkles: It was a kind of spiritual cleansing. She knew she needed
it, and she knew a place and a way she could do it.
LEGS< Water is the symbol of spirituality to many. Perhaps it linked
them spiritually to their own dreams and hopes, and let them escape the
reality of old age.
FlamingEagle< I like that she was washed in the SOUND ... very powerful
image. Perhaps the sound evoked peaceful memories.
Sprinkles< I like that too ... washed in the sound. :)
DestinyB< Ben's question reminds me of Baptism.
guitarist< Ben, I was thinking a combined Christian/Jewish thought here:
baptism, as you would call it. Observant women in Jewish culture immerse
themselves in water once a month. The place where this takes place must
not be stagnant, as a pool, and must have a natural water source. The ocean
is perfect for this.
FRAML< guitarist: Yes, the 'mikva' I think it is called. I remember there
was one in the German town where I was assigned in the late 70's.
guitarist< Yes, FRAML, you are correct. *s*
daCrone< She was also connecting.
guitarist< Another thought: she was being called "crazy" by
all around her. Is it possible that she wanted to wash all that out? Just
a thought.
Sprinkles< I don't think her crazy. The others just didn't or weren't
close to her enough to take the time to understand her actions. Sounds as
though they didn't or want to take the time, too. It is easy to dismiss
things when lack of understanding prevails.
Ben< ALL: I told her family what she said, in hopes that it might help
them understand her better. Perhaps it did. It certainly helped me. Like
that old lady, I sometimes must go and wash my soul. However, before I heard
her say it, I had not applied those words to what I do, and so I am grateful
to her for giving me those words.
Ben< ALL: Sub-question: Do any of you use beautiful music to wash your
soul? As a means of spiritual cleansing? I do.
daCrone< ALL OF THE TIME, BEN
FlamingEagle< Ben, yes, usually listening, but sometimes I must sing
as well, as part of the release.
FRAML< Ben: I don't think so, not as a ritual. I've probably done it
unconsciously though.
LEGS< Yes, definitely, Ben. And in grief, I sing endlessly ... keeps
the bitter thoughts away.
DestinyB< Yes, Ben, I'm washing my soul with beautiful music right at
this moment.
guitarist< Yes. There is a young lady who adapted selected Jewish prayers
to Oriental styles of music, some of them Sephardic Jewish, some of them
Indian. My husband recently found her CD among a stack that was going to
be discarded, and brought it home. When I listened to it, I knew immediately
that her purpose was to promote two-way prayer. The music was that beautiful
and powerful. I believe that she is a Kabbalist.
Sprinkles< Oh, yes ... such a large variety. Cooking, cleaning, quiet
time, inner thought time ... just about everything except for quiet time.
*S*
guitarist< And in case you're wondering, yes, I do, too. And, like FlamingEagle,
I *must* sing ... preferably harmony.
Sesquiq< Ben: I'm new here, so I won't talk much, but she was doing something
we all see and feel, and know by touch. Its beautiful, so simple. I'll hold
off more until later.
greyman< I create instrumentation to elevate/wash spirit.
Ben< QUESTION 2: There is a large difference between appreciation of
beauty and the desire to own or possess. Here is an example of an exercise
in appreciation. My next-door neighbors have a beautiful rose-bush on my
side of their garage. They can't see it without walking around their garage,
but I can. All summer, I take a moment to enjoy it every time I get into
or out of my car. And each time, I enjoy their rose-bush even more because
I don't own it -- I can drink of its beauty without having to water it and
prune it and put fertilizer around it and battle the fungus that would destroy
it. And each time, I appreciate my neighbors for doing those things and
freely offering this bit of beauty to everyone who comes near their house.
What does this story remind you of? YOUR TURN
Sprinkles< Unconditional sharing, consideration, the exhibiting of nature's
awe, for whoever cares to enjoy.
daCrone< Gifts and blessings and gratitude ... how wonderful! *S*
Sesquiq< Music always (as now). Appreciation of Nature without interference;
of not exerting authority.
guitarist< This is something I must learn. I think your way of thinking
about the advantages of *not* possessing the beautiful rosebush is an example
for me. I have always longed to be the possessor, not merely the appreciator.
Perhaps, I must learn the lesson you are teaching in that one paragraph.
*s*
Ben< guitarist: *smile*
LEGS< Ben: For some reason, the rose bush story made me think of taking
food and clothing to add to that being given by others, for someone we don't
know who will benefit from it. I wonder why? I mean why it triggered that
thought?
Ben< LEGS: Yes! That is beautiful. Remember that bit of inspiration.
It will be an answer to my fourth question.
daCrone< It also reminds me that it is in the simple things, the things
often overlooked, that there is peace and beauty and connection.
FlamingEagle< I find myself thinking of the different ways we could offer
our own beauty to the world ... just because. :-)
FRAML< Ben: Appreciating a person for who they are. For the kindness
you see them do, for the help received from them. And perhaps for a physical
beauty. But all that, you know they will share with you, or can be observed
without the need to marry them.
Sprinkles< Sight and smell receives a gift. I love gardens of all sorts
and the displays are incredibly fascinating. Although I have the brownest
of thumbs. :)
daCrone< It is my habit to tell flowers, especially 'volunteers', how
I appreciate them. *S*
Yopo< daCrone: *S*
guitarist< daCrone, I think that is beautiful. *s* I like to talk to
plants, too.
verge< The work that we do is judged not by our appreciation, but by
the benefit and enjoyment of others.
Sprinkles< I agree, verge. :)
Ben< Each year, my wife and I plant a large bed of flowers along our
driveway. Many neighbors and passers-by have stopped to express their appreciation
while we were working among the flowers. I always see and feel a spiritual
glow in them and in us during those moments.
guitarist< Indeed, Ben, I have wanted to do the same. Maybe I'll carve
out the time this year.
LEGS< Ben: That is a good way to get to know your neighbors. I taught
many youngsters besides my own what the names of flowers, birds, insects,
trees were/are, here in our desert area. Have had a couple mention that
they have never forgotten the little folk stories about the flowers I told
to help them remember the names.
Sprinkles< I planted such an assortment last year, and some were spectacular.
They were all planted in the front, but I just went crazy with it. My children
said I was gonna pay for the work. I wanted the Lord to, if by chance, look
upon my plantings and be happy for the sight. Amongst all the negativity,
this the Lord might enjoy. My payment was that there was some green among
the brown, but such a nice contrast. :)
Ben< ALL: If we can appreciate beauty and not desire to possess the object
of beauty, we are free -- free to enjoy many things without being bound
to them or by them -- and the art of appreciating without wanting to possess
can be improved by practice.
FRAML< Ben: And doesn't the art of not wanting to possess things help
us in shedding links that will keep our souls here?
Ben< FRAML: Yes. Excellent point! Thank you.
Ben< QUESTION 3: Last week, LEGS asked "What are the effects of
feeling beautiful? What can you do to make your acquaintances experience
such beauty?" I would like to revisit those questions. Has someone
made (or helped) you feel beautiful? If so, what did he or she say or do?
And what were the effects in you? YOUR TURN
FRAML< Ben: I felt better after being positively commented to about the
weight I've lost.
Ben< FRAML: Hah! Yes, a lot of people feel that physical beauty is inversely
proportional to bulk. Then there's us skinny folks who aren't so sure about
that.
FRAML< Ben: In my case, lack of bulk is also providing a drop in blood
pressure and cholesterol, and an increase in desire to live. (And also reduces
my chances of heart attack and stroke.)
guitarist< FRAML, I'm happy for you, then. But some who seek thinness
seek an ideal that perhaps is unobtainable and, indeed, undesirable for
them.
DestinyB< When I was young, sometimes when I entered a room of people
(like in a restaurant), everyone would stop what they were doing and look
at me. I felt like queen of the room!
guitarist< Question # 3 is not an easy one for me! But a recent example
is the making of a couple of new, real friends. This always does wonders
for making me feel beautiful!
LEGS< Although I am a great-grandmother, I'm not the oldest in my little
town of choice where I grew up, and those older citizens who knew me then
still address me as they did when I attended school. Makes me feel years
younger. And they always brag on me. Makes me want to never disappoint them
in my character or actions. They consider me one of the beautiful ones ...
and I know they are.
greyman< You can possess knowledge, and thus the knowledge of beauty.
It would seem that the above concept could be binding as well.
Ben< greyman: Good point. I think that wanting to feel beautiful can
be binding, and it puts the power in someone else's hands. But it is something
else when given as a gift. That's what I was looking at in this question.
Sesquiq< To help someone, to see them turn happy of spirit, for them
to be appreciative, that creates within me the sensation of beauty.
DestinyB< I've tried to compliment something of beauty in others. Everyone
has something beautiful about them!
FRAML< Ben: I also remember when someone said to me: "FRAML, we
don't want to loose you" after I made a comment of not caring about
myself or wanting to live. That comment made me realize that there were
folks who cared for me without any strings attached. I realized that I was
appreciated for who I was, not what they though they might get from me.
It was a major turning point for me.
Sprinkles< The effect (now we are not referring to our physical casings
are we?) There is such a glow as far as feelings go, and if you are aware
of having a white light fill you deep into your soul, it is very contagious.
By being open to it and sharing it. The sparkle, or should I say Sprinkle,
in the eye as well as the heart. Yes, when I had learned to be myself, and
to express all things in a positive note, it just seems to grow, and the
hug, tear, joy, laughter abounds. Just how I approach others and vice-versa.
LEGS< In the everyday world, I try to give compliments like blessings.
If you think someone has a lovely smile even though they are harried and
rushed in their work, why not let them know you appreciate their smiles?
or their dedication that makes them so tired they don't feel like giving
out their sweet smiles as often?
daCrone< Many people do not feel beautiful or appreciated. I think it
is important to use every opportunity to point out to them their positive
attributes, their talents and their kindnesses, Sometimes the strength and
vitality of an offered compliment is immediately visible.
Ben< ALL: Expressions of genuine appreciation can help almost anyone
feel more beautiful.
DestinyB< One of the most beautiful faces I've ever seen belonged to
an elderly lady. It was covered with wrinkles -- laugh line wrinkles! What
a life of happiness she must have lived!
Ben< ALL: I said at the beginning of this session that Question # 4 would
be a call for either experience or imagination. I will post it shortly.
peaceangel< Does anyone know how to get ahold of TheFire? There seem
to be harassing going on in Stonehenge.
guitarist< peaceangel: You are free to stay among us. Please stay.
peaceangel< Thanks, guitarist.
Ben< QUESTION 4: Last week, I said "Recalling (specific) beautiful
memories is a way to elevate one's spirit toward higher realms of existence."
But (given that beauty is in the eye of the beholder) that statement is
only true if one's concepts of beauty correspond to concepts of beauty in
higher realms of existence. Therefore, what do you think beings in higher
realms of existence consider beautiful? YOUR TURN
peaceangel< Well, I was abused sexually growing up, and I have been having
bad dreams lately. I went to the Henge to just relax, and it don't help
my memories to hear that kind of sexual garbage.
humble< Realize, peaceangel, that what happened to you was because of
someone else's needs, not yours. You are a pure spirit and must realize
it. Pity the abuser and love yourself because you are you.
peaceangel< Thanks, humble. Sometimes I still blame myself. If I would
of just screamed out when this happened.
guitarist< peaceangel: I have seen you in the Henge seeking prayer from
others. Don't give up because there are some there who would make fun of
all things spiritual. There are other rooms, such as this one, where you
can relax and find others of like mind and heart.
FlamingEagle< peaceangel: There are others here (like myself) who have
experienced sexual abuse. You are not alone, and we are here to support
you.
humble< peaceangel: Understand that we are all on different paths. Please,
my wonderful spirit, realize that it is only important that you love yourself
... and you are worthy of that love.
guitarist< Love, joy, peace, kindness, truth, mercy, and many other things
like these are what I think higher beings would consider beautiful.
humble< Beauty is, to each of us, the beauty we behold. Just as each
is in a different place, our concept of beauty is also different. Not lesser
or higher but different.
LEGS< I would think that the spiritual beings would find beauty in right
action, promotion of peace without trodding over others, consideration of
others to the extent of sharing what one has in a crisis, or perhaps just
to promote harmony.
FRAML< Helping another person. Blessing others. Treating others as I
want to be treated. For me personally, doing my Father's will as best I
can.
daCrone< Purity of motive.
guitarist< I also agree with FRAML and daCrone. And, refraining from
treating others as I would not want to be treated. *s*
daCrone< I think they like gardenias, too. *VBS*
verge< Higher realms experience only what they can relate to, which is
beyond the physical, beyond emotion, beyond the limitations of our thoughts,
and allow themselves to be that which is divine, and therefore just is beyond
beauty, as there is nothing else to compare it to, and therefore just is.
Sesquiq< (My opinion, of course.) Beauty to spirituality is the ability
to perceive Creation, to literally sense it, to live it first-hand, to learn
through experience, to experience material life: the act of appreciating
Nature's beauty.
Yopo< Here, that which is beautiful clothes the ineffable in a form revealing
an inner truth. Here, the form of a rose clothes a mystery. Perhaps a being
on a higher realm would see more of what the earthly form of the thing only
hints at?
Tracey< Loving one another and seeing past any prejudice we may have
been taught. Caring for others as much and more than for oneself ... and
standing up for what is in your own soul, not being afraid to express yourself
even if it is not a popular belief.
greyman< Beauty is understanding the "Grand Design" and the
paths to those ends is kindness.
daCrone< Purity of motive in context of harmony.
Ben< I know angels see it as beautiful whenever a lost soul is found
and rescued and helped to rise to the Light. Angels see it as beautiful
and rejoice whenever an evil spirit changes from malevolent to benevolent
and therefore lights up and becomes a radiant being.
Sprinkles< I think they marvel at us. Such individuals we are. Each so
very special just to be here. Knowing that we have the power of free will.
To choose anything, anything at all, and having the ability to do so. The
thought of having the senses that can tune in and be able to help another.
The strength as well as the weakness. All things that we take for granted
and lay aside for another time. How we lose ourselves, find ourselves. Oh,
what an adventure, and yet know we are worthy.
DestinyB< I think beings in higher realms of existence find beauty in
purity of the hearts, love given freely, and those who strive to walk in
the light.
LEGS< Nice explanations ... Sprinkles ... DestinyB.
Ben< I know angels smile when they see a mother caring for a child. A
father caring for his children and the other children around him. A brother
gently leading his little sister by the hand. Angels see it as beautiful
whenever anyone truly helps anyone else. This I know from experience.
Tracey< Ben: Yes, dear heart, they smile at kindness and love ... in
any form. *S*
guitarist< And I agree with Yopo and Ben. Turning evil into good, and
finding the lost, is beautiful. And sensing the mystery in the beautiful
creation ... that's why Genesis says, "Behold, and G-d said it was
very good."
FRAML< Ben: The concept of beauty I think my Father has is not in material
things, even how we look, but in what our souls yearn for and strive to
achieve. There is beauty beheld by Him in our helping others to rise to
Him, not in how we are dressed, physical shape, or even in flowers and trees.
Yopo< Would a rose still be beautiful, if it grew and blossomed and died
in a place where there were no eyes to see it?
peachrose< Yes.
FRAML< Yopo: It reminds me of a similar query: If a man says something
when he is alone in the woods, is he still wrong?
guitarist< Laughing @ FRAML! Ha!
Yopo< FRAML: *G* A question perhaps asked by one woman of another?
Sesquiq< FRAML: Thank you for the note earlier. (I don't know how to
use private message yet, else I'd have replied during the discussion.) Your
freely given help, that to me is beautiful. Thank you.
FRAML< Sesquiq: Thank you.
humble< Yopo, the rose is still a rose, whether it is observed or not.
We are who we are: we need not be observed to be beautiful. We are, regardless
who is watching.
FlamingEagle< Yopo: Like Ben seeing his neighbor's roses even if his
neighbor didn't see them, God still does -- and appreciates their beauty.
Sprinkles< Yopo, of course. Does a tree make a sound in the forest when
it falls, even if no one is around to hear it ?
Yopo< Sprinkles: *S* I would echo FlamingEagle's observation. The presence
of beauty in a seemingly deserted place to me implies there are eyes unseen
by us that see.
humble< Yopo, it seems to me that those eyes are the eyes inside of each
of us.
Ben< /topic Open discussion of spiritual beauty
verge< To know something, you must have something to compare it to. If
there is no other, there just is that which is. Beauty cannot exist without
its opposite.
Tracey< verge: That is probably true here on earth, but perhaps not in
other worlds. I would be quite happy with only the beauty part ... quite
happy indeed.
verge< Tracey, how would you measure beauty?
Tracey< verge: You would see it with your soul, darlin'. When I was a
kid, there was only beauty, and I was quite happy with it. Never felt the
need for an opposite for me to appreciate it. Only in later life did I get
the opposite stuff, but it is not necessary. IMHO
verge< Tracey, you have the soul to see what you wish, and I wish you
nothing but happiness. Night all, hope to meet.
Tracey< verge: Honey, I was not arguing with ya. I've always been told
I look at the world through rose-colored glasses, and I suppose I do. Love
and peace, darlin'.
LEGS< Looking around us at all of the lovely things in nature, how could
we think Go