13 Sep 1996
How wonderful!

Ben, it is a gift to find someone who has experienced many of the things I have, and can explain them. How wonderful not to be alone! Also, it is not easy to talk about ambivalence toward God. I appreciate your warm acceptance of my life's journey. It certainly makes the trip less lonely. So much to tell you... and how to decide what is most important?

The more I think about it, the more the image of the penknife as "useful for any number of little jobs" fits. I seem to have a lifetime of varied experiences, and numerous different types of psychic experiences. And when God has graced me with knowing that I've truly helped someone, these experiences have varied also.

First, another incident: St. Augustine, Florida is advertised as "the oldest city in America." It is a picturesque tourist attraction, containing some interesting history, and is a pleasant place to spend an afternoon. Several years ago I was enjoying the sights when I came to an enclosed compound. Directly inside, the cement floor stretched only a short distance. The floor ended at a railing which overlooked a large excavation. At the railing was a sign stating that a 2000 year old mass grave of about 200 Native Americans had been partially excavated. Looking down I saw skeletons embedded in the stone. Some were obviously children, and they were nestled in the curve of larger skeletons, as if they had lain down with their parents for a nap. It was a touching sight, and I said a prayer, "God, please bless them." Immediately I sensed an intense feeling of gratitude coming from a large group of entities, and love the likes of which I've never felt before, all around me. I sensed no words at first. Just sincere gratitude and joy and love so strong and palpable, I was completely awed. At first I thought to myself, "I didn't do anything. What did I do?" And then came the thought, "Your prayer." I realized the gratitude came from "people" whose skeletons lay before me. I stood transfixed for several minutes, and the sensation of gratitude did not diminish. After awhile I began to focus on my surroundings again, and I wondered how far my sense of these entities' presence would extend, so I walked out of the compound. Directly outside the door, the feelings were still very strong; as I walked away from the compound, the sense of their presence grew fainter. But now, here's where words fail me. Because although there was a palpable sense of their presence at the grave site, the sense of gratitude came with me, sort of like a telephone call. I walked back to the compound and again felt the presence of many people. I left once more, walked clear to the other side of Old St. Augustine, waited an hour, and then walked back. As I drew closer to the compound, the joy of that place grew steadily stronger. Ben, it could have been a beacon, it seemed so strong! It drew me. I hated to leave.

After reading your web pages about soul rescue work, I wonder if something like that happened here. I always imagined these people were just happy someone said a prayer for them, but I never understood why their gratitude was so intense, or why I would feel such encompassing, surrounding love in that place, until I read your pages.

One more: Occasionally I will have a very strange "dream," and sometimes I know that I'm in an "astral" state, away from my body. Sometimes I won't know what's really happened until I return. I don't try to do this; it happens spontaneously. I cannot control it, and it doesn't happen very often. (I still can't get over sounding like a "nut" when I talk about this.) But anyway... Early one morning I was about to get out of bed when I suddenly slipped through an opening (a door, a window) in my head. I found myself standing in the bathroom of a small house. I saw every detail of the bathroom, felt the light switch and wall paper as I touched the wall. I looked in the mirror at a thin, middle-aged woman with long, straight grey hair, held back with a rubber band. She/I was dressed in a robe. I could see trees through the open bathroom window, and hear children playing outside. I was amazed that the "dream" was so real, and I very much wanted to go outside the house and see the neighborhood. I found a house dress on a bed in the room right by the bathroom, slipped it on, and walked through this strange, dark house until I found the front door. Out in the yard I followed the children's voices. I was in a poor neighborhood full of small, wood-framed houses, and smaller, dilapidated mobile homes. There were a number of children running through the trees and the sparse grass of the sandy yards. The day was warm and clear, no clouds in the sky. I was out in the middle of the street when a man wearing jeans and a T-shirt, who must have been in his early 20's, came up to me looking worried and embarrassed.

"Mom, what are you doing out here?" he asked me. "You should be in the house!" I answered, "I want to be outside."

A heavy-set man in his late 40's came barreling up. He looked furious. As he reached us his hand was in the air, as if to slap me. I automatically lowered my head and pulled my arms in close to my body, and sensed that this was a common reaction for this woman. But he hesitated, looking around at the neighborhood. "What are you doing out here?" he hissed. "Get in the house!"

"I want to be outside," I repeated.

He took me by my elbow, turned me around, and steered me toward the house. I did not, under any circumstances, want to be in the house with that man, so I simply left...

And felt that familiar jolt and tingling sensation from head to foot, as I slid back into my own body (Reentry feels more like a gentle sort of slam, actually.)

Prior to reading your web pages, I thought this was just a really elaborate, cognitive dream, with some sort of psychic connection because of the complete physical sensations and astral element. But after reading "Jim Two" I wonder if I really was inside that poor woman's body. I've no idea if she was inside her body with me, or if she was "home" at all. Perhaps she was mentally ill or had Alzheimer's. I wished I'd thought to look for an envelope or something with an address.

I suppose the ability of a spirit to occupy a body when no one is home, wouldn't necessarily be limited to "bodiless" spirits. Have you ever heard of this, Ben?


In several places you mentioned "damage" the dark ones caused while they were inside someone. What kind of damage?

I am encountering substantial "interference" when I attempt to "up-link" to God. As I concentrate on developing reano, I get a steady influx of negative thoughts and images, which I firmly push out, one by one. I understand that I'm new at this and that it takes practice. But I know that I am not consciously generating these thoughts. I pray for assistance and protection. What else can I do?

If 85-90% of human beings have one or more attachees, then obviously I have them too. I'm doing the "Spiritual Shower" every day, with mixed results. But I want to be rid of them. I want to be able to help my parents and siblings (several of whom I know must be infested,) and of course, my brother. And people I run into, like Lisa. How can I do this if all kinds of lost ones and elementals have "made a home" inside of me? (Not to mention tons of spiritual scar tissue that must be here.) Ben, I know you must be terribly busy, so I hesitate to ask. But I'm concerned I will not get free of these things without your help. You mentioned that remote detachments are difficult, but please, can't we do something?

I know it would help a great deal to be part of a local church or group who are open to these sorts of things. I am attending a little church. The people are very friendly, but it's the standard sort of fare. How do I find a place like Bethany here?

I absolutely love the information about blessings! Since I read it, I go around blessing my family, the dog and cat and birds and people on the street and in the grocery store, and so on. It feels good and it's wonderful fun!

"In His word..." How beautiful.

Your friend,


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