20 Nov 1996
Farther Along...

Hello Ben

Your letter generated a number of topics for discussion.

I read the pages on Dr. Baldwin's three types of therapy. Very interesting. I was already familiar with Past Life Regression Therapy. However, what a surprise to read about including "aliens or ET's" in a category of entities who may attach themselves to people! I admit, I was initially just as surprised to read your short discussion on "little people," elves and so on. But folklore and stories of little people are very much a part of our history. I am willing to concede that they may have existed at some point and then become extinct. I am just as willing to concede the existence of aliens. I am just taken aback to think they'd be mucking around here in spirit form, attaching themselves to us, inadvertently or otherwise.

On this planet, there have been hundreds of thousands of different species in its living history ... why not a spirit world with just as profuse and diverse a population? Some time ago I quit paying attention to a number of professed "psychics" because they mentioned communicating with ET's. I must think about this longer, but it seems I may owe some of them further consideration.

Although there is much written about alternate or sub-personalities, I appreciate Dr. Baldwin's recognition of "fragmentation." (For a number of years I felt splintered into a hundred pieces. It wasn't until the light-show in '87 when that changed.) How does he go about identifying and locating soul-mind fragments? Is retrieval done through guided imagery?

As to spirit attachments, you and I have talked about thoughts, images, feelings that do not seem to be our own. In Father Francis MacNutt's book "Healing," he mentions the inability of an individual to overcome an addiction or compulsive behavior, in spite of willpower, confession, therapy, etc. While this makes considerable sense, I wonder if I shall not have to suspend the concept of "free will" very soon. While some spirits may be invited, and others may find their way in through our own sinful proclivities, still others manage to slip in when we are wounded and vulnerable. That hardly seems to support the view that our wills are protected by God.

Dr. Baldwin speaks of "clues which assist the therapist in the discovery of an attached entity." Other than those listed in the above paragraph, what other clues suggest an attached entity?

I appreciate your logical, systematic evaluation of these experiences I share with you. Not only does it help me understand what is really going on, but your questions help me improve my ability to clearly communicate what I have experienced.

For instance, concerning discernment: I understand that I can find out whether a spirit is working for God by "the fruits of the spirit", and by testing what I'm told. But the "fruits" cannot always be seen or felt right away. Nor is it always possible to immediately test a spirit's honesty, although time will usually prove it either true or false. What I am looking for is some kind of immediate identification.

As follows: When I was listening to the priest give his sermon on the "immorality" of homosexuality, and I heard "If you are looking for the perfect church, you will not find it," I could not tell what manner of spirit said it. I thought maybe it was just me, although it did not sound like me. Then when the priest said the same thing 45 minutes later, in the same tone of voice, with the same inflection, I figured it to be a case of simple precognition on my part.

Then you suggested a different alternative. "It sounds like whoever spoke to you also spoke to him. I wonder if it was the same spirit who inspired his sermon on homosexuality. Perhaps his mentor ..."

So, was it precognition, or spirit? It makes a world of difference, when I look at the events of that night, where that communication came from.

As to the "psychic healing with no real connection to God" you mentioned as a possibility, I'm not sure that was the case. I was able, through some psychic ability, to identify problems/circumstances concerning people who came up for healing. I doubt there was any healing taking place through me. The rest of the prayer team were convinced of God's presence, and they claimed to know when healing took place. (They are a joyful bunch and seem to have no problem generating reano.) But it would not be the first time I stood in the presence of the Kingdom of God, and missed it. (i.e., The angels of St. Augustine.) I know that frequently I am unaware of God's involvement in this world. My consternation was brought on by the chain of events which seemed to work to prevent my "participation" in the healing session. As well as the following nights and days struggling with that overwhelming grief.

Semantics again? You said, "Neat! Another grief-stricken soul rescued, lifted out!" Fran called it "a spirit of grief," which she assumes is evil in nature, to be bound and removed. It matters to me what manner of spirit it was, if only so that I will know better, in the future, what to do, and so how best to help. Again, the problem is discernment: An evil spirit? A grief-stricken soul? Myself?

>Dogmatic semantics? Hmm... These are two entirely different functions. The verb "to rescue" means to remove from a place of danger and assist to a place of safety. "To heal" means to repair damage or injury and restore to health, but it does not necessarily imply relocation.

True. But as I get involved with this ministry, I find it is much more than simple healing, and that my first observation was the correct one. Consider the following: It is almost impossible for a truly depressed individual to experience inner peace and joy, to believe that God loves him, to establish community with others. What happens to a person like this when he dies, lacking any sense of love or hope? He cannot see or find the light. He most likely does not even believe in it. Suppose, through Fran's faith in "a God who heals," she asks that God's spirit come, that this soul be lifted into God's light, that any demons or evil spirits afflicting him be bound and removed, then prays for healing for him, and finally, that he rest in the arms of Christ.

Now suppose you come along instead. With your faith in "a God who rescues," you talk to the spirit and convince him to go up, into the light, so he can "get stronger or holier or whatever words you guys use." (Caring Connections Will Stretch) And suppose you ask that any attached or embedded dark ones be removed and that his space be filled with light and that the light heal any damage.

Obviously each ministry has a different focus. Your focus is on "assisting souls to a place of safety." And while this is happening, a fair amount of healing takes place. Fran's focus is on "healing." And while that is happening, at least while she is doing generational healing, a fair number of souls make it to a place of safety. You share enough common elements to convince me that sometimes, at least, you are doing the same thing.

>You have something they need in that group. Although you may be or become a healer, you have already done soul-rescue work. Whether they will welcome your work or insist that you conform to them is still an open question.

The word "soul-rescue" flies in the face of their theology, which teaches that the only one who rescues souls is Christ. But I think once they have a clear understanding of the process, it will cease to be a problem. Fran has already told me that my ability to sense different spirits is needed in the group. (I told her that my discernment is lousy. She said it would improve with practice.) I am ready to do what God wants me to do, whether it be as a tool for soul-rescue, or a tool for healing, or both.

But I will not give up the prayer of blessing demons and evil spirits. It is the most positive hope for the eventual redemption of creation I have seen. I believe this will be the biggest contention. The concepts that demons can (or even should) receive a blessing from God, and that they can be converted, are not easy concepts for many people.

Nor will I quit soul-rescue. But I really believe this will not become an issue. God has a way of helping all of us grow. Fran and the other prayer team members will share with me what they know, and I will share with them what I know. And God knows what the results will be.

As to the incident involving my Hospice patient, when I came home with his itch, you said: "I would not label it "sign" or "suggestion" -- but "experience". What you report is an ancient method of healing, but not the best method of healing. Olga Worrall was a great healer of our own time who learned she didn't have to take the symptoms on herself. And I have done what you report. For example, I inadvertently took a spot of phlebitis out of a woman's leg: her pain stopped immediately, just as my leg felt like someone pushed a red-hot poker into it. And it continued to hurt like hell for the next hour, until I got rid of the pain by sending it into the earth."

Please tell me about the incident with the woman's phlebitis. How did you take on her phlebitis? How did you send it into the earth? And what safeguard did you put into place to prevent that from happening again?

>Okay, you are encountering another step -- and as usual, it looks too high to climb and a lifetime wide. Watch me toss you a little flashlight so you can see what this step looks like: (1) Which soul really needs to be rescued; the victim or the victimizer? (2) Jesus said, "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you (Mt 5:44). And therefore, (3) I suggest you ask God to send a team of His angels to rescue your father.

Those are good suggestions. I've done that several times since you taught me that prayer 3 months ago, and I continue to do it periodically. (I think my father needs God's help rather constantly.) And I also do it for several other members of my family. I've had no indication that the prayers have helped in any of their cases. The step I was having problems with, the step "too high to climb and a lifetime wide," was my belief that God abandoned me.

On one of your web pages you wrote: "'We intervene if and only if good can come of it. Otherwise, we wait.' [I have received this answer hundreds of times in thirty years.]" My assumption is that God could intervene at *any* time and good would just naturally come of it. And yet this communication says otherwise. I know God prefers to inspire someone to hand a thirsty child a glass of water, but God literally rescues people every day. And yet all those years ago God did not rescue me. I could only assume then, that I was not worthy of rescue, that God did not love me. I have always felt that God didn't appear on the scene until 1987. I've known that was just my perception. But my heart wouldn't see it any other way. And so I have been very angry with God, and I could not trust.

As a result, I made discernment harder by stubbornly insisting to myself that every message I heard was only coming from me, even though I knew otherwise. Then when I finally accepted the fact that others could be sending messages, I still couldn't believe any of them were from God. Why? I didn't know until two nights ago, when I discovered the very idea that God would talk to me caused significant feelings of shame and guilt. I dug around in my memories awhile and discovered that whenever I spoke the truth, at the very least it brought derision from my family. I lived in a social and religious atmosphere that insisted any show of intelligence, or wisdom, or inner strength from a child/woman was pride and vanity. The ultimate vanity would be to believe God was talking to me!

People always told me that if God talked to me, I would definitely know because I would feel all that love and peace. Well, for the most part I haven't felt very peaceful. And I've only had one St. Augustine experience. But the Lord called Samuel, and Samuel thought Eli was calling to him. And Jacob fought with an angel who made him lame. And Jonah was afraid, and ran away until he was swallowed by a fish. And Paul was knocked off his horse on the way to Damascus! It comforts me to know that I am not the only one who has struggled with God's messages, (and I am thankful God has been more gentle with me.)

What I can see now, as I look back, is that I carried the truth in our family. I started really praying to God -- more than just bedtime prayers or prayers from rote memory, when I was about 12 years old. In one of your letters you mentioned that my choice for God was karmic. I have loved churches from the time I was 5, and have been satisfied with none of them. As a young teenager I would stay at the table long after Sunday dinner -- long after my father and sister made their hasty escape -- and listen to my Great Uncle preach Bible stories. I disliked his Old Testament God of vengeance and justice. I resented the way he cut me off when I tried to ask questions. But I never got enough of the stories.

Sr. Christine said to me, "Where do you think you got your strength? Where did you get the discernment to refuse to accept your family's way of living? Who do you think taught you the truth?"

So after a week of remembering, I decided I could no longer keep my image as the Greek Phoenician Woman begging crumbs from the Master's table. I have to admit that God does talk to me, and that even my eventual escape (at the age of 16) from my father's house was inspired by either God or His messengers. I can't say that I'm totally satisfied with what I've learned. But I am told that if I keep working at it (or if God keeps working on me) my past will eventually become a blessing.

It takes me several days to write one of these letters. Finally, I'm up to last night. I'm going to finish this off rather quickly and send it on its way before something else happens.

Last night I was feeling particularly joyful and thankful because of these new insights. I established an uplink with God and said the Lord's prayer. When I got to the part about "Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us," I went through a very short list of people who I feel had harmed me, said to each one, "I forgive you," and asked God to bless them and surround them with light. I've done this particular exercise before, but this time it was much easier, less troubled, free of pain.

During the prayer I suddenly remembered an individual I knew 3 years ago who caused extensive harm to many people, myself included. As I prayed for her I sensed a darkness, a blackness, and a definite uneasiness that is difficult to describe. The only thing I can say is that my first impulse was to stay away. It felt unclean. When I asked God to bless her and surround her with light, a darkness made up of malice and pressure showed up at my head. It began to surround me... and suddenly I was scrambling through a bunch of prayers for light, a one way valve on the connection between me and her, teams of angels at both ends, etc. First I prayed specific prayers to rid myself of the darkness around me. Then I prayed specific prayers for her. I have never seen all the things you've talked about, Ben. The light workers and warrior angels and grey ghosts hanging around an individual. I really have no concept of what that's like. So I said to God, "What do you want me to see, Lord?" What I immediately sensed were strange creatures with tentacles, and a lot of other little dark things I can't describe. They were all around her area. I don't really know what I mean by her "area." I couldn't see clearly where this was. I could not see her. But I knew this was her space, so to speak. And then suddenly I was looking up from way down in the front passenger seat of a car and I was suffocating. A voice said, "A baby died. Left in the heat." I was breathing in short gasps and my heart was pounding...

Ben, do you know how hard it is to maintain an uplink with God when things get this weird?

Well, I did a lot more praying, got myself out of that front seat and back "home." I know I would have seen more if I hung around longer, but I was pretty scared because of the physical symptoms, which took a while to subside. A voice said, "You're okay. Lie down. Rest." I did, but kept popping up. So much to evaluate.

This is what I know now. None of that was my imagination. Things happened very, very quickly. (I keep using the words "immediately," and "suddenly.") My discernment was much clearer. I could tell who was good and who was definitely not good. I could see and feel things more vividly. Response to my prayers was almost instantaneous. As if my believing and trusting in God and His messages were all it took to "bring things into focus."

I need to be working with a prayer team when I'm faced with this stuff. But I don't think it's going to work out that way. Not only because I don't have a group yet, but also because I won't limit my prayers to some scheduled meeting. So I've got to learn all I can as quickly as I can.

I need to understand why I get these physical symptoms, and what to do about them. Otherwise, this "on the job training" is going to be difficult. (Leo's itch and the baby's suffocation were not the only times I've experienced other people's symptoms.)

How come I saw this stuff when praying for her, but not when praying for members of my own family?

What's going to happen next? (smile)

Thank you Ben. God bless...


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